Jennings - Tom Fool 4.0%

Taste: Slips down easily, soothing your troubles away. Makes you think of words beginning with W. A creative beer.

Would I buy 2? Yes

Would I buy 4? Depends on the choice available

Appearance like tasty vinegar

Rating *****5

Buckleys - Best Bitter 3.7%

Taste is watery but makes me anticipate a meal, maybe a lovely lamb lunch. Great as an aperitif

Would I buy 2? not really bothered, I'd want to eat after the first one. I'd eat the glass if necessary

Would I buy 4? probably not

Appearance like a deep burning red. In a good way, not like cellulitis or anything

Rating ****4

Morland - Original Bitter 4.0%

Taste is really full, rather like an entire meal in itself. A cliche that is often associated with Guinness, but this is more mellow in flavour.

Would I buy 2? Maybe, if I wanted to get fat

Would I buy 4? No, it's far too full on

Appearance Quite golden. Only quite. I can tell the difference between this and a pint of genuine liquid gold.

Rating *****5

Atlas Brewery - Nimbus 5.0%

Taste: The cadbury's caramel bunny lives on, within this golden, rich pint of ale. But I won't succumb to her dulcet tones as one of these ales is enough for any man. You may want to have one after dinner instead of a whole treacle tart... I'd say "Lets all enjoy a cadbury's ale!".

Would you buy 2? No, couldn't buy 2, too rich and caramaccy.

Would you buy 4? Only sugar junkies could buy 4... plenty more ales in the sea.

Appearance: Thick creamy head. Most likely to be made of whipped sugar and a thick golden brown ale, a result of having the cadbury's bunny actually inside it.

Rating (out of 7): * * * *4

Triple FFF - Pressed Rat & Warthog 3.8%

Taste: Stout so dark it stings the lips with hoppy goodness! Ow! Awesome taste. It's still stinging... Rock on!

Would you buy 2? Yeah, if it was a bit colder.... constant flow.

Would you buy 4? Few men could ever drink 4 in the summer.

Appearance: Dark as night, Warthog marketing perhaps misses a little. Although on closer inspection, I see that the warthog is living in a dark world. Still wasn't expecting the darkness. But I am prepared now.

Rating (out of 7): * * * *4

Newby Wyke Brewery - HMS Revenge 4.2%

2Taste: Tastes like an old sailor has sat with his feet in the cask during the fermenting process. I feel like it's taking things from me instead of giving me anything new. A parasitic ale. I can't think of anything else but feet. I'm stuck on it! .... Don't smell this one...

Would you buy 2? No. Certainly not!

Would you buy 4? No way, i'd be hard pushed to ever buy one again!

Appearance: Suspiciously cloudy.... I don't think this should be cloudy... Could be the yeast infection???

Rating (out of 7): * *2 (shame, great name... goes to show that revenge and ale do not mix)

Oakham Ales - Helter Skelter 5.0%

Taste: A Bit Gucky and Syrupy. Like Tennants super Strength. A Bit of a lad ale.

Would you buy 2? Not unless I was homeless.

Would you buy 4? If I got a free A3 laminated poster of the artwork I would.

Appearance: Extra marks! Like a Voodoo Lady. 60's psychedelia mixed with carnival folk feel. Wow factor got these ales bought!

Rating (out of 7): * * * *4

Blackawton Brewery - Exhibition Ale 4.2%

Taste: For a 'unique' ale, this is highly unremarkable.
S T A N D A R D I S S U E . Nice though....

Would you buy 2? Move on, just move on.

Would you buy 4? Need not ask.

Appearance: Like Iron Bru.

Rating (out of 7): * *2 (disappointing)

Phoenix Brewery - Pale Moonlight 4.2%

Taste: I'm struggling with this one; i've hit a watery plateau. Not much to say, apart from it gives ale a bad name.

Would you buy 2? Actually, i'd have two, it's whet my whistle.

Would you buy 4? Not in heaven or on earth. I wouldn't give my ale money to this sleaze peddler.
Appearance: Very light, almost like a very strong lager.

Rating (out of 7): * *2

Salatapder Brewing Company - Albatross 4%

Taste: As the name suggests, trying to review this ale has become, itself, a bit of an albatross. With it's ultra light cut, this ale really lends itself to long lazy summer days. Once it's in your mouth, you get what you get. There are no ugly aftertastes lurking in the liquid shadows.

Appearance: So light, it's almost not there.

Would you buy 2? Yup, i'd buy two.

Would you buy 4? If the weather was right. Definitely not for winter.


Rating (out of 7): * * * * *5

Church End Brewery - Cuthbert's 3.8%

Taste: A very bitter and incredibly sharp ale; quite hardcore and would suit a winter scene. Not for the faint hearted.

Would you buy 2? In The right circumstances.

Would you buy 4? If I was trying to read the whole of wuthering heights in one day on the yorkshire moors... yes.

Appearance: A proud English oak.

Rating (out of 7): * * * *4

Badger - Blandford Fly 5.2%

Taste: Sweet ginger with a strong spicy character. The Fly's got a hell of a bite!

Would you buy 2? Yes, the ginger spice is the best party that has ever been held in my mouth and my tongue won't stop talking about it.

Would you buy 4? I Wouldn't buy 4, after two it would start to taste like medicine. A bit too crazy a women to party with all night.

Appearance: Tawny, light, golden brown. Looks quite like Tizer.

Rating (out of 7): * * * * *5

The Marlow Brewery - Rebellion Overthrow 4.4%

Taste: Tastes cool and light like a summer festival lager, but aley. Smells meaty.... This is great stuff.

Would you buy 2? Alright let's pool our change!

Would you buy 4? With all the choice available, this would be absolute madness

Appearance: Dark and deceptive.

Rating (out of 7): * * * *4

LB - Samba 4.1%

Taste: On 1st taste, this is a very light, almost watery ale, But after a few sips it becomes apparent that it is actually a very light, almost watery but refreshing, summer ale.

Would you buy 2? Yeah, it's light and gives me fruity pleasure!

Would you buy 4? Yeah I could have a good night on this train.

Appearance: Atrocious Pump Label / Atrocious Brown

Rating (out of 7): * * * *4

Inveralmond Brewery - Inki Pinki 3.7%

Taste: My god, this is so light it almost doesn't exist! But good times over all. Tastes sweet like a honey bear's paws. Boy Oh Boy!

Would you buy 2? Not today sir, I'm not in the mood.

Would you buy 4? In another life perhaps. But I just can't go on when there are 9 more beers to try here!

Appearance: I can't tell, it's too weak.

Rating (Out Of 7): 4 * * * * (weak but tasty)

Hydes - Bells & Whistles 4.8%

Taste: On first taste this is quite bold, Then becomes to watery to be enjoyable. It's dead to me...

Would you buy 2? Not on your nelly son!

Would you buy 4? It's not gonna happen

Appearance: The tap label has to be the fruitiest photo-realistic rendering of a pirate and his pet lover/parrot ever. No comments on the Brown.

Rating (Out Of 7): * *

Felinfoel - Double Dragon 4.2%

Taste: Not bad at first, there's a taste to it. Hang on it's a soapy, fairy liquid taste. Not so good! Also a hint of banana. Odd. Key question: "What the hell is going on, on the roof of your mouth?"
Key reply: " I can taste nothing but a chemical bumblegum burn!"

Appearance: So so.

Would you buy two? Nope. I want more of anything else.

Would you buy four? Nonsense.

Rating (out of seven): * * *

Wychwood Brewery - Golaith 4.2%

Taste: There's substance to it. Feels like you're eating something.... furry lentils? Bready for sure. Nothing spectacular but nothing evil either. The bottles trying to compensate for something! Mr. Average Ale.

Appearance: Giant bottle, dungeons and dragons label masking a satisfying brown.

Would you buy two? We have. Ho hum.

Would you buy four? No, life's too short.

Rating (out of seven): * * * *

Goffs Brewery - Black Knight 5.3%

Taste: A porter. A mustache in the mouth. Drinking rust from a big tanker, but it's a sweet victorious rust. Unruffled but strong. Solid. Good. Stuff.

Appearance: Dark, ever so dark.

Would you buy two? Yep!

Would you buy four? Maybe after a 14 hour shift down a tin mine.

Rating (out of seven): * * * * *

Whittingtons Brewery - Cats Whiskers 4.2%

Taste: Fizzled as opened. Not matured enough. Tobacco bitterness. Like chewing a bad leaf. Not a pleasant aftertaste. I'd imagine this is what actually licking a cats face (and whiskers) would taste like. Not good.

Appearance: Do cats and ale mix? Not in my opinion.

Would you buy two? No.

Would you buy four? Definitely not mister.

Rating (out of seven): * *

Goff's Brewery - Jouster 4.0%

Taste: Honey lining, beech body, malty purpose. Smooth like an otters tail. Young and handsome.

Appearance: Terrible bottle design. Pity, great ale!

Would you buy two? Yessss!

Would you buy four? Very very tempted!

Rating: * * * * *5

Three Castles - King Alfred's Gold 4.6%

Taste: Tangy, Real smooth. Great times for a summers day, A bit like liquid electrocution.

Would you buy 2? Bring the pain,

Would you buy 4? My faith is slipping....

Appearance: A cloudy orange, not bad.

Rating (Out of 7): * * * * 

Skinner's - Figgy's Brew 4.9%

Taste: Not figgy, but that's not a disappointment; although it does taste like a brew, and what a brew! Almost stewy but quite light, Smells strong, like physical education.

Would you buy 2? Yeah, it's great fun! Keep it coming.

Would you buy 4? As long as it stays fun, keep it coming! So Mealy.

Appearance: A good solid orangey brown.... Like teddy bears eyes.

Rating (out of 7): • • • • •

Adnams - Spindrift 5.0%

Taste: Not an ale really, Deception! It promises a summertime british beer. What we get is a fruity belgium/english hybrid of lager and ale. Still, very refreshing.

Would you buy 2? Move on my friend, there are too many ales in the world.

Would you buy 4? Experiment with others, you might just find a sixer if you're lucky.

Appearance: Yellow Yellow Yellow.... I'm not having much luck!

Rating (out of 7): 4* * * * (despite deception)

Caledonian - Lemonale 4.3%

Taste: like liquid bread and lemon curd together at last! This truely is a summertime gentleman's handshake. Goes great with crisps of a vinegar variety as the lemon aftertaste plays on.

Would you buy 2? Probably if I was restricted, but not with choice. Hang on...

Would you buy 4? Not now, it's too jammy. I'm all gunked up.

Appearance: Getting better... like amber from Speilberg's Jurassic Park.

Rating (out of 7): * * * *

Cottage Brewery - Wicked Hound 4.7%

Taste: A proper, solid traditional ale with zingy tastes. None of this yellow nonsense. Reminds me why I got into ale.

Would you buy 2? Yes, I had to because Betts drunk most of my first.

Would you buy 4? Yes, because... err

Appearance: Refreshingly dark!

Rating (out of 7): * * * * 

Jarrow Brewery - Caulker 4.2%

Taste: Fine... sorry.... It tastes like nostalgia after a hard days graft making girders. (Early girder stuff) Feels like it would ease the pain of the university of life.

Would you buy 2? I would because it's not heavy. light, unlike most warming ales. something to do with the chilled serving I imagine.

Would you buy 4? If I hadn't just eaten a prawn Jalfrezi, yeah.

Appearance: Yeah, classic for a light ale. looks like a flat lager.

Rating (out of 7): * * * * (generous)

Ossett Brewery - Quick Silver 5.0%

Taste: Crazy plastic flavor! Tastes like a million good things. Overpowering slightly. A Fruity Party in my mouth; I'm having a good time! 1 plastic glass has sullied this review, however.

Would you buy 2? Yes I would because the flavors are bouncey!

Would you buy 4? I probably would as I wouldn't be able to stop the change flying out of my ale purse.

Appearance: Very very light. Not brown again. What a world!

Rating: * * * * *     (from a glass)