Williams Bros. Brewing Co. - Joker IPA 5%

Taste: Carbonation's high in this one. Also, not as hoppy as the label makes out. It's mostly biscuity... But it's very welcome. A nice easy drinker. Doesn't taste like its 5%. Which is good in some ways.

Appearance: Fizzy Iron Bru.

Would you buy 2? Yes!!!

Would you buy 4? I could drink four. Wouldn't want to pay for them though.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** almost a five. Perhaps if it wasn't for the harlequin on the bottle.

William's Bros Brewing Co. - Róisin 4.2%

Taste: So sweet. Too sweet. Concentrated satsumas and rhubarb. Where's the ale? Tastes like too strong squash.

Appearance: rhubarb juice.

Would you buy 2? Half's enough.

Would you buy 4? Silence. He'd probably buy some rhubarb juice instead.

Rating (out of 7): 1* they've gone too far. Too sweet.

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

Harviestoun - Bitter & Twisted 4.2%

Taste: Cold sharp, oaky pleasure. Like bitter lemon, with sawdust. Tangfastic.

Appearance: Some nasty curdling going on. Like the foam you get when boiling chickpeas.

Would you buy 2? Yes, despite the curdling, it tasted good, not of chickpeas (which also taste good).

Would you buy 4? Worried it might curdle my stomach.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Tasty.

Harviestoun - Old Engine Oil Porter 6%

Taste: oily rag. There's no doubt that it's been used to wipe down an old steam engine. Quite bitter. But pleasingly thick. Not bad at all.

Appearance: dark. Oil black. Good info on label.

Would you buy 2? yes. Happily.

Would you buy 4? Buying four really would be the ultimate reward. For the brewers.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** much better than the wet and wobbly whiskey aged one I had from harviestoun.

Location:Sofa

Swannay Brewery - Orkney Porter 9%

Taste: This smells sweetly alcoholic, like a boozy Christmas pudding. Initial taste was a wall of dark chocolate, which pleased me tremendously. It's nice and gloopy too. There's nothing that will displease me more than a thin porter of this strength. It's all going well. The classic feeling that there is a vanilla and raisin taste is hitting me.

Appearance: Dark at first glance. But it's a deep burgundy. Intriguing bottle. Who's Rob Hill?

Would you buy 2? I'd like two. Do you have two? Can I have them?

Would you buy 4? If I can find it again at UTObeer (borough) I'll pick four up for sure.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** A beer to savour. Pleasurable crude oil (but red).

Location:Clapham, London

Traquair House - Ale 7.2%

Taste: Oh, that's nice. It warms you from the inside out like a whiskey. It has a sweet alcoholic smell and quite a light feel. I'm drinking this with a hunk of cheese and it going down amazingly. This is SO nice!

Appearance: Brewed in the oldest inhabited house in Scotland?! Amazing! There must be ghosts swimming in the vats. Beer looks like maple syrup.

Would you buy 2? Yes please. Never seen it before. I found it at UTO beer at Borough Market.

Would you buy 4? I'd like to. I wonder if there's a cask version of this? I'd better Ask Jeeves.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** a light flavoursome mega beer (strong). It's good times!

Location:Clapham