Shepherd Neame - Kentish Ale

Taste: it's almost essexish but a little bit more chalky. salt on a blackboard. Kent has a lot of chalk.

Appearance: magma

Would you buy 2? I'd buy 3!!!

Would you buy 4? Yes. 5 no...

Rating (out of 7): 3* nice grandfather ale.

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Double Maxim - Brown Ale 4.7%

Taste: tastes like wringing the moisture out of campfire clothes. Tasty. Not that exciting though. Just nods....

Appearance: fake guinness. Foamy too.

Would you buy 2? Depends what else is on.... Probably no!

Would you buy 4? It's hard to tell but clearly not....

Rating (out of 7): 3* split the vote!

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Thwaites - Very Nutty Black 3.9%

Taste: fizzy blood! Heavy and light at the Same time. Described ad export strength at 3.9%.... must be a joke. Also.... wHERe ARE THE nUTS!?!??

Appearance: congealed blood.

Would you buy 2? Might be a bit odd.

Would you buy 4? No. Tastes like licking someones guts...

Rating (out of 7): 2 * another stinker!!!

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Wells - Bombardier Burning Gold 4.7%

Taste: Another phantom ale. Just wasting everyone's time. No taste, therefore no more comment.

Appearance: urine sample. Clingy.

Would you buy 2? Accidentally I have.

Would you buy 4? Not a chance.

Rating (out of 7): 1 - It's blandness is foul.

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Cains - Raisin Beer 5%

Taste: not entirely bad but where's the raisins? Hmm, where are the raisins? I taste the air not a rich raising roast as you would hope.




Taste:

Appearance: disappointing. Lack of raisin visuals.

Would you buy 2? Only to disappoint a friend.

Would you buy 4? Can't imagine a situation where you would want to.... A raisinless world?!

Rating (out of 7): 2
Vomit in a swimming pool.

Location:Beauchamp St

Bragdy Conwy Brewery - Balchder Cymru 4%

Taste: blonde! A bit ashy... It's alright though. Not a bad ash, more like volcanic ash than fag ash. Homebrewy.... Yes

Appearance: cloudy Amber with mucus middle.

Would you buy 2? For an experiment.

Would you buy 4? I don't know. I can't remember anymore.

Rating (out of 7): 4* extra point for intrigue.

Location:Grange Pl,,United Kingdom

Wolf Brewery - Granny Wouldn't Like It 4.8%

Taste: horsey! Difficult. ... Horsey void or a stable yard paradox.

Appearance: savoy brown

Would you buy 2? Probably. It's hard when you know there are others out there.

Would you buy 4? For four different friends. But not for the same friends.

Rating (out of 7): 4 **** more flavours coming out now.

Location:Grange Pl,,United Kingdom

Sambrook's Brewery - Powerhouse Porter 5%

Taste: dark matter. A parallel taste universe intertwined with my taste buds.

Appearance: molasses

Would you buy 2? Uh huh uh huh. I'd like two please, bar keep!

Would you buy 4? Choco overload!

Rating (out of 7): **** it's not bad. Not at all. Nope. No sir'ee.

Fuller's - London Porter 5.4%

Taste: blood, coffee and chocolate. It's teasing me with it's malt.

Appearance: Motor oil

Would you buy 2? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Would you buy 4? I would. It's like drinking a box of quality streets.

Rating (out of 7): ***** 5 it's go time!!!

St. Peter's - Ruby Red Ale 4.3%

Taste: charred conkers!!! ***confused lip smacks.... I imagine it's what a cow's clean hoof would taste like.

Appearance: blood

Would you buy 2? At a conker tournament or during a conker battle to psyche out an opponent

Would you buy 4? No. Shaking head wildly*

Rating (out of 7): 3 almost good.

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

Shepherd Neame - Late Red 4.5%

Taste: should taste like chestnut but it doesn't. So I don't know. Could taste of so much more. It's promising when it touches your lips, but then it turns into a ghost ale.

Appearance: not as red as the name suggests.

Would you buy 2? Mmmmm.... I might, due to the misleading virgin gulp.

Would you buy 4? No.

Rating (out of 7): 3 *** tricked!!!

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

Celt Experience - Golden Ale 3.8%

Taste: cereal... Hint of homebrew and squash.

Appearance: squashed wasp.

Would you buy 2? Hmmm. And brrrrppp. (undecided sounds)

Would you buy 4? No. Unlikely

Rating (out of 7): 3 *** but a low 3

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

Celt Experience - Bronze 4.5%

Taste: toffee quality street. Lubricating my rusty brain.

Appearance: bronze!

Would you buy 2? Yeah, I reckon

Would you buy 4? (laughter)

Rating (out of 7): 4 **** a tough review...

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

George Gale & Co. - Seafarers Ale 4.2%

Taste: bubbly! Tingly... Effervescent.

Appearance: Copper plate

Would you buy 2? I cam imagine a few situations

Would you buy 4? Might not hold up in the court of law

Rating (out of 7): **** better than "that drawer"

Hambleton ales - Taylor's Tipple 4.5%

Taste: tastes like it's been stored in a men's toilet. Nick stafford's got a lot to answer for. Tastes like helles wheat. (toilet smell).

Appearance: standard issue. No interesting note.

Would you buy 2? Never!

Would you buy 4? ................

Rating (out of 7): ** disappointing

Greene King - Sundance 4.3%

Taste: really refreshing. It's smoothed my edges. It's light, but still tastes like something.... Copper.

Appearance: Bear's eyes

Would you buy 2? Yup. But it's the winter now and this is a summer ale.

Would you buy 4? For a day in a field or car park.

Rating (out of 7): **** allllllright!