Magic Rock Brewing - Human Canonball 9.2%

Taste: Mmm syrupy. An awesome mouth-feel. It tastes like a grapefruit stuffed to the puff with hops. Dear god. This is so nice. Doesn't taste as strong as it is. Can you tell that I want to stop writing this so I can enjoy it?!

Appearance: Wildly cool looking bottle. Ale looks delicious.

Would you buy 2? I will hunt them down and destroy them.

Would you buy 4? If I see one. It's bought. No Human Canonballs are safe.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Unbelievable. It might even be nicer than Magic Rock - Rapture which won beer of the month.

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The Durham Brewery - Cloister Premium Bitter 4.5%

Taste: My word that's nice! Bitter and hoppy with some spicy and fruity flavours. It smells good too. It's reminding me of rainy autumn days and puddles.

Appearance: Whiskey and water.

Would you buy 2? Definitely. It's very tasty.

Would you buy 4? I could see this happening. Yes.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** should be a six. But I've typed it now and lord help me, I'm not going to press backspace.

Location:Clapham, London

Robinsons - Dizzy Blonde 3.8%

Taste: Soft like a velvet pillow. Not many tastes coming through, except for a slight twang at the end. What is the twang? - maybe gone off bananas? or blood?

Appearance: Golden and flat. Another German lager? Like a jack-o-lantern.

Would you buy 2? Maybe, to try and solve the taste intrigue.

Would you buy 4? If it hadn't been solved by then, I'd have lost interest.

Rating (out of seven): 4****

Location:Manchester

Empire - Golden Warrior 3.8%

Taste: Smells of baking... Melted brown sugar and vanilla essence. When I drink it it makes a thing under my ears.

Appearance: Amber amulet, expensive tree sap. Old woman.

Would you buy 2? Definitely, I already have.

Would you buy 4? I think so, but beware of the low that may follow the initial sugar high.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Reminds me of baking cakes.

Location:Sheffield

Rudgate - Marynka 4%

Taste: Bitter sharp potatoes, but so refreshing. Good with chips and salt. Quite a citrusy twang.

Appearance: Tangerines

Would you buy 2? We already have, although the first one was better.

Would you buy 4? Given the depreciation, probably not.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** A strong five, despite getting a potato glass on the 2nd pint.

Location:Sheffield

Moulin - Ale of Atholl 4.5%

Taste: It looks different to the last ale (Braveheart), and it smells different - not very pleasant, a bit toilety - but it tastes exactly the same.

Appearance: Different. Dark and murky.

Would you buy 2? I'd go back to the last ale, which tasted the same but didn't smell like toilets.

Would you buy 4? No.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Let down by the smell.

Moulin - Braveheart 4%

Taste:Quite chocolatey, tannins. Oak leaves on a forest floor.

Appearance: Ghostly autumn leaves.

Would you buy 2? Yes, I definitely would.

Would you buy 4? Might be tempted to try something else from the same brewery.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Food has arrived.

Location:Pitlochry, Scotland

Swannay Brewery - Orkney Porter 9%

Taste: This smells sweetly alcoholic, like a boozy Christmas pudding. Initial taste was a wall of dark chocolate, which pleased me tremendously. It's nice and gloopy too. There's nothing that will displease me more than a thin porter of this strength. It's all going well. The classic feeling that there is a vanilla and raisin taste is hitting me.

Appearance: Dark at first glance. But it's a deep burgundy. Intriguing bottle. Who's Rob Hill?

Would you buy 2? I'd like two. Do you have two? Can I have them?

Would you buy 4? If I can find it again at UTObeer (borough) I'll pick four up for sure.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** A beer to savour. Pleasurable crude oil (but red).

Location:Clapham, London

Morland - Old Golden Hen 4.5%

Taste: Tastes like Old Speckled Hen which has had some fruit peel dropped in. It's entirely drinkable though. I enjoyed it whist slicing some vegetables.

Appearance: nice golden colour. Of putting Bottle.

Would you buy 2? Maybe one day.

Would you buy 4? I might, to share with others.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** it's okay.

Westgate Brewery - Fireside 4.5%

Taste: Biscuits and the sensation of being too full (this may be conjuring Christmas day memories). A nice full ale. Probably best sloshed around whilst singing and Rosey cheeked.

Appearance: Like the knots in this wooden table. At a time of year like this, I can't resist a pump clip like that.

Would you buy 2? I've bought many on different days. And for friends.

Would you buy 4? See above answer. As to 'all at once'... I don't see why not.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** close to a seasonal six.

Location:Lavender Gardens,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Redchurch Brewery - Hoxton Stout 6%

Taste: This is much more like it. Smokey and thick. Like holding a lump of coal under the tongue. I've used a splash in my mac and cheese dinner. It worked well.

Appearance: pleasingly dark.

Would you buy 2? Yes! Definitely.

Would you buy 4? Yeah! It's sweet!

Rating (out of 7): 6****** mega enjoyable.

Location:Clapham, London

Traquair House - Ale 7.2%

Taste: Oh, that's nice. It warms you from the inside out like a whiskey. It has a sweet alcoholic smell and quite a light feel. I'm drinking this with a hunk of cheese and it going down amazingly. This is SO nice!

Appearance: Brewed in the oldest inhabited house in Scotland?! Amazing! There must be ghosts swimming in the vats. Beer looks like maple syrup.

Would you buy 2? Yes please. Never seen it before. I found it at UTO beer at Borough Market.

Would you buy 4? I'd like to. I wonder if there's a cask version of this? I'd better Ask Jeeves.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** a light flavoursome mega beer (strong). It's good times!

Location:Clapham

Redchurch Brewery - Bethnal Pale Ale 5.5%

Taste: Fizzy. It's stings my cankers. Nice flavour. Hoppy and dry. It's got a home brew character, but it's intentions are good.

Appearance: orange. Like cheddar valley cider.

Would you buy 2? Not this one. Although I bought two others from redchurch.

Would you buy 4? I don't think so,

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Not my cup of ale but it's ale-heart's in the right place.

Location:Clapham

Bateman's - Rosey Nosey 4.7%

Taste: Like sucking coppers. We're trying to fun something Christmassy about it. they've just slapped a label on it! They've re-badged it you fool!

Appearance: good Christmassy label, but it's lies.

Would you buy 2? We did.

Would you buy 4? No thanks. Not a chance.

Rating (out of 7): 2** dissaponting

Location:Dundonald Rd,Merton,United Kingdom

Caledonian - Flying Dutchman 4.5%

Taste: great smell of conkers and caramel. Tastes a bit like uncooked bread dough (in a good way). It's sparkly and I'm enjoying it. It has that taste of copper you are supposed to suffer from proceeding a heart attack.

Appearance: copper fizz.

Would you buy 2? I could see that happening.

Would you buy 4? For friends. Or in the summer.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** to give this 4 would be doing it a disservice.

Location:Asda carpark, Clapham

Purity Brewing Co. - Mad Goose 4.2%

Taste: copper pennies and water. Too watery to be of bother. It's okay though. I'm being harsh.

Appearance: tab cola.

Would you buy 2? No thanks.

Would you buy 4? Okay.

Rating (out of 7): 3***

Location:Lavender Gardens,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Pin Up Beers - Natural Blonde 3.8%

Taste: Oh god that's good. That was needed. It's incredibly soft, It slips down real easy! Lemons! There's lemons to be found in here!

Appearance: It's crazy clear! Saucy lable! Whoot whoo!

Would you buy 2? Yes

Would you buy 4? Hmmm I might you know! I just might!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** A sexy ale! I love it!

Location:Albert Bridge Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

St. Peter's - Mild 3.7%

Taste: these chocolate malts are really putting out the pickled egg fire. It's mellow. But tasty with a hint of zinc. Nothing mind blowing here. Just a delicious brown ride.

Appearance: darker than the taste suggests.

Would you buy 2? I'm not sure. These flavours are suspicious. (some one else's thumb!?!)

Would you buy 4? Doubtful.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** odd brown.

Location:Clapham

Wold Top Brewery - Golden Summer 4.4%

Taste: brrr! It's freezing in here, so it's not the season that Wold Top are selling this at, but here goes... It's good! Light, biscuity, and hoppy. It's bringing to mind, hay bails and sunsets. It's not all sunshine though. I've got some metallic magnetic repulsion and soda water bite. But all that would pass i think.

Appearance: clear orange.

Would you buy 2? Yes! I would. Great!

Would you buy 4? I really could.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** a pleasant surprise, even if it's November.

Location:Clapham, London