Cottage Brewing - We'll Get it Right 4%

Taste: A dull no score draw.

Appearance: Football-based, patriotic, danger.

Would you buy 2? Only if nothing else around.

Would you buy 4? Maybe if I desperately wanted a football-based ale.  Experience says this may rank quite highly.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** When will you get it right?  Make it less bland.

Location: Chinley, Derbyshire

Lytham Brewery - Lytham Royal 4.4%

Taste: Left over coffee dregs, when you haven't washed out the mug.  Mum's molasses tart (not good).  Burnt caramel, sweet coffee.

Appearance: Too dark to be a gimmick beer.

Would you buy 2? I wouldn't have two sips, says one reviewer!

Would you buy 4? I couldn't possibly.

Rating (out of 7): 2**  There's been worse, but this wasn't very enjoyable.

Location: Chinley, Derbyshire

Saltaire Brewery - Raspberry Blonde 4%

Taste: Only one ale available, and it's raspberry-infused!  Oh no, it tastes of raspberry bubblegum....  after initial gulps becomes bearable however, eliciting memories of summer at the pick-your-own.  The more you drink, the better it gets.

Appearance: Very nice looking beer don't you think.

Would you buy 2? It's the only ale available, and it certainly won't make me jump off the ale train.

Would you buy 4? Doubtful, raspberry overload.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Surprisingly enjoyable fruit ale.

Location: Spear Street, Manchester

Bluestone (National Park Resort) - No.1 (3.6%)

Taste: Slimey, Mouldy, Fruity, Smooth and Subtle.

Appearance: Grim and stormy.

Would you buy 2? Certainly possibly

Would you buy 4? Definitely maybe

Rating (out of 7): 4 ****

Theakston - Hogshead Bitter 4.1%

Taste: It smells like it's going to be a disappointment. But alas. There is flavour! Quite a bit. Very malty. Very bitter and once drunk quite aromatic.

Appearance: Rusty water. Nice pig on bottle. Also, good info on the beer.

Would you buy 2? Possibly.

Would you buy 4? This is less of a possibility.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** better than expected. Still there's not much to wow. More like a gentle petting.

Brains - SA 4.2%

Taste: Ubiquitous in South Wales. This ale, according to the brewery website, is called Skull Attack by some. This makes the ale sound way more threatening / exciting than it is. It has an initial taste that is hoppy burn with an added slight walnut twang and then the taste fades to watery blandness. It disappears easy but doesn't linger in the memory at all.

Appearance:  light conker.

Would you buy 2?  Sometimes you have to, in certain pubs.

Would you buy 4?  With other options, there's no reason why.

Rating (out of 7):  3 * * * A safety net ale - it's often there when a pub is lacking in ale, but it's very uninspiring.

Windsor & Eton Brewery - Kohinoor 5%

Taste: That's a really interesting IPA! Slightly spiced, or aromatic. That's just so nice! It's on par with the absolute gold IPA's that Magic Rock have been making. Futuristic ale. This demands to be drunk whilst eating salty snacks. The hops call out for salt.

Ale Eye View

Appearance: Amber.



Would you buy 2? I'd very much like to buy two.

Would you buy 4? I would stock four in my ale bunker.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Another vision of the future from Windsor & Eton.

Brecon Brewing - Twilight 4%

Taste:  I really like this. Dark chocoloate flavours. Tastes like history. It's organic matter - earthy and woody. I'm chomping down on an ancient oak. There's a hint of rum and now all I need is a log fire...

Appearance:  Smokey darkness

Would you buy 2?  Oh yes

Would you buy 4?  In a log cabin for sure. Or when it's raining in the summer.

Rating (out of 7):  5 * * * * *  This feels winter/autumnal, so choose your time and setting! Then it's delicious!

Vale of Glamorgan - Cwrw Haf 4.2%

Taste:  Is that chlorine? A long egg factory? This is the taste of summer if summer for you is a taste combination of egg and cress sandwiches and paddling pool water. Not a favourite but it is a do-er.

Appearance:  Golden / flat lager confusion

Would you buy 2?  I could have another in the right circumstances.

Would you buy 4?  In the distant past but not now.

Rating (out of 7):  3  * * * Better than bland.

Otley Brewing Company - Pontypridd 4%

Taste:  Da iawn! Citrus and the outdoors rolled together. Refreshment and the feel of a warm spring evening. Zesty!

Appearance:  Golden finery.

Would you buy 2?  Yes please

Would you buy 4?  Yes please

Rating (out of 7):  5 * * * * * A lovely ale.

Elgood's - Black Dog 3.6%

Taste: Hmm. Weak. It's watery, but there's flavour there! "Keep shouting Sir! We'll find you!". Things are hotting up! The flavour was boosted by eating some salty snacks. Malt running down a slate roof. Not bad.

Appearance: Flat coke. No doubt.

Would you buy 2? Perhaps. I have the feeling that this on draft would be much nicer.

Would you buy 4? Don't push it.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** A nice, early evening starter ale

Brains - Rev James 4.5%

Taste:  An ale that is so ubiquitous in South Wales I'm not sure how it escaped the net cast by the review trawler. It tastes of... well.. it tastes generic. But there is a taste! Licking a cast iron gate with a very slight  rusty burn. The texture of milk or creamflow (uh oh). Easy to drink - but so is plain old water.

Appearance:  Red dog fur that been in the sea off Morfa Sands, Port Talbot.

Would you buy 2?  In certain pubs it would be a yes.

Would you buy 4?  In bottled form, it would be a no - I've always hope for more from ale

Rating (out of 7):  3 * * * Easy to drink - because it's a touch too bland.

Freeminer - Goldminer 5%

Extreme ale close up

Taste:  Citrus and metal and a bit of a fizzy egg vibe. I'm enjoying this and then the old 9v battery taste rears it's head and burns my mouth. But all in all pleasant enough. This ale is part of the Co Op range.

Appearance:  A warm distant sun.

Would you buy 2?  This could happen.

Would you buy 4?  This is unlikely to happen.

Rating (out of 7):  4 * * * *. It's fine.

Thwaites - Strong Brown Ale (5%)

Taste:  An over ripe fruityness that is reminiscent of homebrew, with a few lumps of copper chucked into the mix! Coconut milk or is it the foamy bit of haribo sweets ? There's something giving a (slightly unpleasant) sweetness. This is part of the Co Op ale range.

Appearance:  Darker than piano wood. I am enjoying the name - so simple, so descriptive - but others may not.

Would you buy 2?  In limited circumstances (Pyle Co Op) this may happen. You're not in Pyle? Don't worry then.

Would you buy 4?  There's got to be another ale - hang on there's one!

Rating (out of 7):  3 * * *   Not awful, I just don't fancy any more of it at the moment.

Thwaites - Torch Light 4.4%

Taste: It's very..... secretive, isn't it. Lemon zest fest. It's hiding it's zest. Lovely stuff, very drinkable. I was always under the impression that Thwaites had lost their way, But this is good.

Appearance: Straw and nettles.

Would you buy 2? 3 were bought. Lovely.

Would you buy 4? Probably, yes. Perhaps now.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** oh baby x

Location:Woodhayes Rd,London,United Kingdom

Harviestoun Brewery - Traditional Porter 6%

Taste: Porter? Porter! This ain't half bad! Not a sweet as I'd have liked, but then again, I'm eating a cookie as I taste. Coinage.

Appearance: Pleasantly black. Good bottle, honked by Tesco.

Would you buy 2? Yes. I'll make sure of it.

Would you buy 4? It could happen.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** yummers

Arundel - Special Bitter ASB 4.5%

Taste: Pow! That's malty. Then smooth. A tasty ride for sure. Quite sweet with some hops there too. Toasted marshmallows.

Appearance: Shocking Red. Nice simple bottle won't dazzle the eye and give you any nasty worries.

Would you buy 2? Yes. Definitely.

Would you buy 4? Yup! I'd love to get my hands on a cask pint of this.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Right-On bottled ale.

Castle Rock Brewery - Diamond Reign Jubilee Ale 4.1%

Taste: Nice! Biscuity and light, a lot more summery than the Weather allowed this weekend to be. This has hops up to here (points to neck). I think I taste raspberry too?... I do!

Appearance: It says 'fortified with flavour' on the side.... Get rid of it. It's not a pack of Frosties. Ale looks fine though. Bordering on Iron Bru.

Would you buy 2? Yes definitely. Will it be brewed for another 60 years?

Would you buy 4? Yup!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** General consensus is that this is a very delicious ale.

Hook Norton Brewery - Old Hooky 4.8%

Taste: A marshmallow pressing against the roof of your mouth. Aren't there any dinosaur based ales? It's very smooth. With a digestive kick. This might expand in my gizzards and bust me open like a chestburster from the popular film franchise from 1979.

Appearance: Red Kite.

Would you buy 2? No thanks. Maybe at the beginning.

Would you buy 4? Never.

Rating (out of 7): 3***

Location:London,United Kingdom

Wells - Eagle IPA 3.6%

Taste: ergh. It's not like our last two. Tastes of the 70's. Smoking and pubs. Smoking on planes. Ashtrays and beer mats. It's nice though. In a 'days gone by' kind of way. Yesteryear. Time flys, etc.

Appearance: copper coins. But the new ones that have just come out.

Would you buy 2? We did. Due to the curse, you see.

Would you buy 4? Doubtful.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** not repellent

Location:London,United Kingdom

Twickenham Fine Ales - Grandstand Bitter 3.8%

Taste: tastes like it was made for a hummingbird. Nectarous. Grass and lemons. Lime? Water with a lime squeezed in. One reviewer thinks this is the best ale he's ever tasted. This would slip down incredibly in the nice Jubillee sunshine. Oh.

Appearance: Escutcheon brass.

Would you buy 2? Sounds like it.

Would you buy 4? I think so.

Rating (out of 7): 6******

Location:Wimbledon Hill Rd,London,United Kingdom

Young's - Jubilee Ale 4.0%

Taste: This is a necessity. We're drinking it like squash. Very quaffable. A secret ale while the entwives nap. I can't remember what they look like... (sigh)

Appearance: honey badger.

Would you buy 2? We bought 2. No regrets.

Would you buy 4? Another day perhaps. There's another reviewer here. Got to obey the curse.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** I want to have 8.

Location:London,United Kingdom

The Kite Brewery - Jumbilicious 4.4%

Taste:  The queen? I think she may hate ale. Queen based ales are entering similar territory as cat based ales.  This tastes of an ale flavoured shampoo. A bit boring to be honest. There's a small tingle, then a slight smokiness but it's a cigarette not a cigar.

Appearance:  The colour old 2p coins are in may imagination.

Would you buy 2?  Well, it's always possible, but luckily there's more ale available.

Would you buy 4?  No

Rating (out of 7):  * * * (a good 3, but lacks interest).

Artisan Brewing Co. - Wheat Beer 5.1%

Taste:  The taste of summer fields. Making hay, but hay is not wheat. A shimmering wheat field then. I want to say a delicious metallic cream in ale form.

Appearance:  Hazy caramel cloud.

Would you buy 2?  Yes for sure.

Would you buy 4?  I would, but I could be tempted elsewhere.

Rating (out of 7):  5 * * * * *

Artisan Brewing Co - Vienna (5%)

Taste:  Hard to pin down. I'm thinking marsh mallows for some reason. Was I expecting more? There's a malty refreshment, lead pencils and a lovely chocolate vibe, but it's all so subtle.

Appearance:  The same colour as Cardiff brickwork in the rain.

Would you buy 2?  I might you know.

Would you buy 4?  Not right now,

Rating (out of 7):  5 * * * * * Subtle but good.

East London Brewing Co. - Pale Ale 4.0%

Taste: Mmm buttery ale heaven. Slips down so well in the sunshine. It's so polite.

Appearance: Golden Retriever.

Would you buy 2? Yes. It's done.

Would you buy 4? I wish.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** lovely stuff

Location:Woodhayes Rd,London,United Kingdom