Pen-Lon Cottage Brewery - Lamb's Gold 3.2%

Taste: granny's biscuits. Homebrewy. Ehhhh! Hazelnuts!!! Poorly made squash. Balloon powder.

Appearance: carrots

Would you buy 2? No I wouldn't

Would you buy 4? Of course not

Rating (out of 7): 2** we've hit a bad patch

Location:Sioned's house.

Duchy Originals - Organic Ruby Ale 1905 - 5.0%

Taste: Szechwan pork or processed ham. There's nothing interesting about this. Quinine. Gone off tonic water.

Appearance: national record of achievement red

Would you buy 2? Oh please no.

Would you buy 4? Not on my watch.

Rating (out of 7): 2** I've taken a dislike to it.

Location:Anglesey, wales

Thornbridge - Kipling 5.2%

Taste: Anticlimactic cabbage. Jiff lemon. Not the real thing. Fruity, isn't it. Like the lady on the bottle. It reminds me of something.... I can't remember. It might come to me later. Hang on.... It's really, really grapefruity!!! It's obvious.

Appearance: cabbage water

Would you buy 2? When I require a grapefruit in ale form.

Would you buy 4? I might just eat a real grapefruit.

Rating (out of 7): 5. After the original disappointment we realise it's a pretty interesting ale. It's just fails to live up to the label's seven star claims.

Location:In the house now.

Great Orme Brewery - Welsh Black 3.7%

Taste: stuck in a chimney. No oxygen. Claustrophobic. Scraping the malt barrel with a rusty trowel. Malt loaf.

Appearance: light motor oil.

Would you buy 2? Not in the summer. Never.

Would you buy 4? Very unlikely

Rating (out of 7): 3*** wrong place wrong time

Location:Wales

Great Orme Brewery - Merlyn 4.9%

Taste: golden syrup. Golden syrup!!! Fiery radish. hearty and delish.

Appearance: foamy. A bit o' processed timber.

Would you buy 2? Yeah! I struggle to think of a reason not to.

Would you buy 4? That's another question....

Rating (out of 7): 5. A very good and nice stuff..... Now I'm off to kiss the blarney stone.

Location:Anglesey

Great Orme Brewery - Celtica 4.5%

Taste: wickerbeer. Makes me feel like a wicker man. Not maximum interest but the pleasure is 100%. Easy drinking barn owl ale.

Appearance: bubbly but flat.

Would you buy 2? Yes please. It's so easy.

Would you buy 4? When everybody's trying to please me.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** thus guy's alright!

Location:Anglesey

Great Orme Brewery - Orme 4.2%

Taste: coconut macaroon. It's lifting my spirits. Smooth joy.

Appearance: no comment.

Would you buy 2? Yes!!

Would you buy 4? On a sunny day. Why not. One of life's little pleasures.

Rating (out of 7): 6!!! It's nice to have a coconut ale. Interesting.

Location:Anglesey.

Bragdy Conwy Brewery - Cwru Mêl 4.5%

Taste: a standard marzipan dream. Instant fizz then disappears. Let me have another sip. Tastes like a megabus journey to Inverness. It warms my mouth.

Appearance: Bob holnes.

Would you buy 2? Let's not.

Would you buy 4? Would you help me please.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** doesn't make an impact.

Location:Anglesey

Bragdy Conwy Brewery - Rampart 4.5%

Taste: ergh! Tobacco lemons. Cigarette butts and an ashy horses tail. Imagine a horses tail in your mouth! "argh! Tail! I can't breathe!!!" mmm I quite like that. Tastes like dry rot!

Appearance: bittey orange.

Would you buy 2? No. I don't smoke.

Would you buy 4? No that's 20 minutes off your life.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** confusing. I was eating a rocket leaf at the same time.

Location:Anglesey

Tomos Watkin's - Magic Lagyr 5.0%

Taste: oh! fizzy wheat sheafs. Swimming pool filter... No in a bad way. Lady taste buds like it. It's the german wheat, you see. Hang on. It's changed tact. It's turned vegetable, like drained off courgette water. Nice.

Appearance: clear, yellow, viscous liquid.

Would you buy 2? To get to the bottom of this one, you might need to.

Would you buy 4? I can't help but think we're barking up the wrong tree.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** is this a lager? Is it magic?.... It's shaken the foundations of my ale belief.

Location:Wales. The top of.

Tomos Watkin's - Cwrw Idris 5.2%

Taste: Chocolate brownie. Cocoa. Like a yeasty toblerone. A little medicinal. Stings the Tongue like popping candy.

Appearance: end of the world red. But obviously, brown.

Would you buy 2? Go on. It's, just not what I'm after, not so bad.

Would you buy 4? Come on now...

Rating (out of 7): 4**** a classic four.

Location:Wales

Bryson's - Union Flag 1606 - 3.9%

Taste: light and fruity. Perfect in this heat. Hint of pistachio.

Appearance: light brown / orange.

Would you buy 2? I think I will.

Would you buy 4? When it's this hot I would.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** summery!

Location:Hand in hand, Wimbledon common

Badger - Firkin Fox. 4.3%

Taste: light, flowery with an oily aftertaste.

Appearance: Amber, golden, delicious looking.

Would you buy 2?: Based on first sip no. On second maybe. On third no again.

Would you buy 4?: If everything else sold out maybe. Very unlikely.

Rating (out of 7): 3, what a tease! Pleasing to the eye but doesn't deliver.

Oakham Ales - Inferno 4.2%

Taste: Ooooh! This is nice! Ginger biscuits? Where's the inferno. A misleading ale. I was promised fire... I'll go back to my coffee. Tasty though, despite the lies.

Appearance: glossy. Golden. Apple juice. Gold dust.

Would you buy 2? I bought 3!!!!

Would you buy 4? Yeah I'd by four. It refreshing.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** we've been spoilt and the bar's been raised.

Location:Bankes arms - purbeck.

Oakham Ales - Asylum 4.6%

Taste: I could drink It all night. This is nice. Hoppy nose. Citrus. Grapefruit expulsion with an after tang. Like rolling hills of flavour. It's bitter without compromise. Danke bitter.

Appearance: confusingly yellow!?!? Why is it so yellow? Nectar?

Would you buy 2? Three have been bought!

Would you buy 4? Defo. Why not?

Rating (out of 7): 5***** better than the 5 I gave earlier. But not a 6

Location:Bankes arms. Purbeck.

White Horse - Village Idiot. 4.2%

Taste: bread and butter with a twist of lemon. It's good. Real good. Milky and floral. Lingering bitter notes.

Appearance: yeller and straw.

Would you buy 2? Please

Would you buy 4? I would. Any day. It's ggggrreeeeeat! (so far we've bought 6)

Rating (out of 7): 5***** an experiment needs to be carried out on the effects of drinking in the sun. They are all 5 stars.

Location:Bankes arms. Dorset

Titanic - Iceberg 4.1%

Taste: honey. Lemon. Nettles. A solid summer session beer.

Appearance: translucent honey.

Would you buy 2? Yes.

Would you buy 4? We bought five.

Rating (out of 7): 5*****

Location:Bankes arms

Hopback Brewery - Crop Circle 4.2%

Taste: like straw wrapped around a lemon. This ale is serious about summer and encourages fun.

Appearance: Alien based name scores extra kudos. Beer is so yellow.

Would you buy 2? Of course! Who wouldn't?

Would you buy 4? In the sun, yes.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** a summer classic.

Location:Mimosa Ave,Poole,United Kingdom

Shepherd Neame - London Porter 5%

Taste: Smokey! A bit wet. It's nearing ashtray levels of smokiness but it's keeping it together... Just. There's an aroma of wet, cut grass newly added to the compost heap. Overall, the taste is okay though.

Appearance: nice and black.

Would you buy 2? I could. It wouldn't be the best move though.

Would you buy 4? I couldn't. I'd be too bored.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** not bad. Could be sweeter and stronger for me.

Location:Wandsworth Rd,Lambeth,United Kingdom

Brewdog - 5am Saint 5%

Taste: Orange peel and hops. It has the after taste of bin fruit. Not brewdog's best but Lorraine Pascal can't seem to get enough.

Appearance: Another insulting label. You're not punks. You're brewers, so be nice.

Would you buy 2? Not of this. Give me a free Tokyo* to say sorry.

Would you buy 4? I can't see why I would?

Rating (out of 7): 4**** of course, it's better than average, but the interest in this one is off-putting.

Location:London,United Kingdom

Butcombe Brewery - Gold Bitter 4.7%

Taste: Caramel Vegetable nose. Bitter taste. It's refreshing. Not bad at all. There's not much else to say.

Appearance: too orange to be brown.

Would you buy 2? Deal!

Would you buy 4? Hmmm. I fold.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** to tasty to be a three.

Location:Buckingham Palace Rd,London,United Kingdom

J.W. Lees - Moonraker 7.5%

Taste: This is like drinking one of the greatest Bond films ever made.. Roger Moore's Moonraker! This is the smoothest 7.5% this reviewers had in a long time! Dang!

Appearance: Looks like deep space. Not real deep, just somewhere near the middle.

Would you buy 2?: Yep, yes and sure thing!

Would you buy 4?: Boy! You crazier than a dog from Alabama if you were to sink 4 of these Roger's! You ain't escaping 7.5 on the spewersaurus!

Rating: 5. Roger's favourite ale!

Location:15 Goodenough Rd, Wimbledon

Brains - Milkwood 4.3%

Taste: pungent. Hint of liquorice. Squashed bread.

Appearance: brown

Would you buy 2? I did!

Would you buy 4? Why not.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** not bad

Location:London,United Kingdom

Pen-Lon Cottage Brewery - Tipsy Tup 3.8%

Taste: Intriguing.... chemical wash, toxic plant venom, fermented farmyard juice, honey coated chewed pencils. These are good things I think...

Appearance: Orangey yellowy reddish brown with hidden depths.

Would you buy 2? Wouldn't think twice about accepting two.

Would you buy 4? There's a lot going on, so may warrant getting that fourth pint...

Rating (out of 7): * * * * * (be proud of yourself for you are an interesting ale)

Titanic - Stout 4.5%

Taste: it tastes really nice and makes me sad for the 3000 lost souls. It's heavy though.

Appearance: as dark as the depths of the ocean floor where the titanic lays.

Would you buy 2? Yeah!!!

Would you buy 4? No son.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** it's a four!!!

Location:Graham Rd,Merton,United Kingdom

Jennings - Cocker Hoop 4.2%

Taste: shortbready! Nice aftertaste. A bit bitter for a golden, but my shortbready palette can't be trusted. / (2nd opinion: Sunshine glow. This slips down in an easy, sleepy way. Slumber ale! Aaaaargh! Wasp in ale! Luckily this ale removes edges in an instant.... Yet i yearn for something more. Maybe i should drink the wasp?!)

Appearance: it is golden! / (2nd Opinion: Rusty dreams.)

Would you buy 2? The deed is done. / (2nd Opinion: To subdue a riot,  this ale would be perfect.)

Would you buy 4? I would. Probably. / (2nd Opinion: Would you still be awake?)

Rating (out of 7): 4**** it's fine / (2nd Opinion: 4****)

Location:W Yard,Merton,United Kingdom

The Potton Brewery Co. - Shambles Bitter 4.3%

Taste: Like sucking moisture from campfire clothes. Watery again. Potton like to keep things tasteless. Apart from the overtones of cigarette that is.

Appearance: fizzy pop.

Would you buy 2? Not for me. For a smoker trying to quit, perhaps?

Would you buy 4? Not even a smoker would.

Rating (out of 7): 2** it's a shambles...

Location:Victoria Rise,Lambeth,United Kingdom

The Potton Brewery Co. - The Village Bike 4.3%

Taste: caramel spring water. It's very light. Tastes clean, but lacks tasty taste. Like a mix of sparkling water and a forgotten pint.

Appearance: the village bike? There should have been a story on the label. Beer is copper in tone.

Would you buy 2? Unlikely, unless I was trapped and it was boiling hot.

Would you buy 4? I can't. I've no money.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** a good-time average ale

Location:Buckingham Palace Rd,London,United Kingdom

Untapped Brewing Co. - Sundown 4%

Taste: Refreshing, with a slight aftertaste - rubber with a coating of rhubarb and custard sweet. Am waiting for something extra. Still waiting....

Appearance: Amber laminate flooring.

Would you buy 2? If it's a hot day, and you're dangerously dehydrated but still needing a ale moment, I would take two and pay later.

Would you buy 4? Not today, not yesterday, not tomorrow.

Rating (out of 7): * * * * (in the sun)

Goose Island Beer Co. - Matilda 7%

Taste: A nose of bluebells on a crisp spring morning [description courtest of Mr Keward to my left] effortlessly compliments a taste akin to (bucketloads of) wheat and a touch of banana as clean mammas kitchen floor after a good bleaching.

Appearance: "She's a golden retriever. Retrieves your oldest coin"

Would you buy 2? I cannot afford to.

Would you buy 4? I CANNOT AFFORD TO

Rating (out of 7):  5*****

Otley Brewing Company - O-Garden, 4.8%

Taste: Like the pun. Right?

Appearance: As you'd expect given the pun. Okay?

Would you buy 2? Naturally. Tastes like an old well-thumbed second-hand novel after all.

Would you buy 4? Probably not. I've heard wheat infections are rather unpleasant. Also, I am not Belgian.

Rating (out of 7): Fourve. ****

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Another review!!! Check it out HERE

Hobsons - Manor Ale 4.2%

Taste: whoa! Homebrew yeast explosion! Not a good start... Stagnant water, with coffee quality street float. I've just seen that it says 'zesty' on the bottle. I'll give it that, but I think it's the tang of over active yeast rather than lemons. I'm struggling.

Appearance: cloudy orange with WAY to much fizz. It's in date though, so this is the brewers problem.

Would you buy 2? No thanks.

Would you buy 4? Four!? Just one has ruined my evening!

Rating (out of 7): 2** not so swell

Location:Clapham, London sw4

Hobsons - Old Henry 5.2%

Taste: a massive flashback of toasted marshmallow on an open fire. Then the taste faded, like a memory (of said toasting incident). The fizziness will work against this one, the flavours it started with are vanishing fast. I'm left with 'forgotten gravy boat'.

Appearance: conker brown with flecks of yeast.

Would you buy 2? I would, but I feel that the ale and sitting in the park in the sunshine doesn't really work.

Would you buy 4? No entiendo!

Rating (out of 7): 4**** awarded an extra star for courage.

Location:Clapham common, London

B Flat - Bragdy Kaiser Bass (?%)

Taste: Fruity coins. Sweet cherries. That doesn't taste right after peppermint - but what ale does? Metallic after a while.

Appearance: Caramel apple juice with whispa style bubbles.

Would you buy 2? There's 40 pints.

Would you buy 4? There's 40 pints.

Rating (out of 7): * * * * * * (a most intriguing ale)

Brewdog - Hardcore IPA 9.2%

Taste: Hop-Attack!!! I can't get past them. They have set up camp on my taste buds and in my respiratory tract. Burnt toffee overtones.

Appearance: I've poured it into a purple wine glass... It's hard to tell. I look dead elegant though...

Would you buy 2? I will be buying another yes.

Would you buy 4? 4 nine percenters!? It could happen. In time.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** if you like the taste of raw hops... This is for you.

Location:London,United Kingdom

Williams - Red 4.5%

Taste: Aniseed slightly and those liquorice twirled laces that you used to get. Tastes a bit like Bertie Bassett's been for a dip in the tun. Drinking it in the sun on the grass, it's refreshing.

Appearance: chestnut red. Does not disappoint.

Would you buy 2? It is certain

Would you buy 4? Ask again later

Rating (out of 7): 4**** no masterpiece, but we're not going to have a falling out.

Location:Clapham common, London

Otley Brewing Company - O-Garden 4.8%

Taste: Mallows! Storm Clouds! Throaty, earthy roots. Definitely some sort of woodland flowering plant vibe. Has this been brewed in a derelict potting shed?

Appearance: Cloudy creamy amber.

Would you buy 2? Yes please!

Would you buy 4? For a woodland party, most definitely.

Rating (out of 7): * * * * * * 6

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Another review!!! Check it out HERE

Williams - Gold 3.9%

Taste: like slowly dissolving a toffee in your mouth. Then doing shots of lemonade.

Appearance: iron bru

Would you buy 2? Okay. You've got me.

Would you buy 4? I think i would get over saturated, I'd need something a bit stiffer.

Rating (out of 7): 4 **** not so bad

Location:London,United Kingdom

Hobsons - Town Crier 4.5%

Taste: imagine if, you found a bucket of rain water on a farm... You toss in a handful of straw and grate some orange peel in there too. Then you have a lovely camping trip to Merthyr for the bank holiday weekend. On your return you dunk your empty glass into the stagnant liquid and hold the challis to your dry lips and drink deep.... Like that.

Appearance: I wish I had held back the last inch.... I have yeasty worms floating every which way.

Would you buy 2? I could be persuaded. The drive back from Merthyr was killer.

Would you buy 4? I'm not sure I'm there yet.

Rating (out of 7): 3***
I can see what they were trying to do. Not for me through...

Location:Buckingham Palace Rd,London,United Kingdom

Sharp's - Atlantic IPA 4.2%

Taste: Fresh and light, full of the excitement of the first whiff of a spring evening. 

Appearance: "Seasonal ale brewed for Spring" with a fresh green label and a sprig of Spring Leaf.

Would you buy 2? Yes! It was so fresh! It felt like Daffodils opened near me as I drunk...

Would you buy 4? Is spring really a time for four of the same ales?! It's nay a wintery slugging fest.

Rating (out of 7): 5*****

Review submitted by Betts. (4/4/2011 22:02:36) Check out another reviewer's opinion Here!

Greene King - IPA Export 5%

Taste: can Greene King better a (generously) scored 3 star ale by making it stronger? ... Yes. Well done. There's more flavour in the export strength. Sweet, and buttery.

Appearance: once the fizz settles down it's calmer.

Would you buy 2? I would indeed.

Would you buy 4? I think I could!

Rating (out of 7): 4**** almost a five. It's a big improvement over the normal pint of IPA (99p in the ivor Davis in cowbridge road).

Location:London,United Kingdom

Wye Valley Brewery - Ark Ale 4.5%

Taste: Quality street coffee cream stuffed inside a well used smoking pipe. A Tunnocks Wafer made of hops. Initially burst of taste and then it lingers like a pleasurable cough sweet.

Appearance: Mustard woolly jumper

Would you buy 2? At first I thought no, but then yes, and then maybe no

Would you buy 4? A strangely interesting one. Might need 4 to figure if it's good or bad.

Rating (out of 7): * * * *4

Hopback - Summer Lightning 5%

Taste: brewed by the Greek god of ale in Salisbury. You can really tell. Tastes like getting a good mouthful of straw. Kind of fruity, strong too.

Appearance: bright yellow.

Would you buy 2? Yes please.

Would you buy 4? I couldn't imagine a reality where I wouldn't.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** a solid summer beer

Location:Wimborne,United Kingdom

Hepworth & Co - Sussex Golden Ale 3.8%

Taste: Where is it? Gulping this stuff just to get a taste. Boring? Or just subtle? Slight hint of homebrew/soap combo that vanishes into airey water. Mr Sheen table polish sprayed on some flavourless, packaged fruit. I'm losing interest...


Appearance: Illness yellow


Would you buy 2? If ale drinking became a chore.


Would you buy 4? Would you? Honestly?


Rating (out of 7): * *