Maui Brewing Co. - Big Swell IPA 6.8%

Taste: A hoppy dream. Served cold, this IPA is a bold choice on a hot Christmas Day. This is all about hops. There's not much else to say, it's no bad thing... In fact, it's a great thing.

Appearance: Sold in a can! I'm converted. Keep Hawaii Tidy. Beer looks like a sweet amber nectar. Perhaps some amber in which you might find a mosquito and then use the DNA of the blood that the mosquito ingested millions of years ago to bring back some dinos...

Would you buy 2? I have and would again.

Would you buy 4? Yes please. This is great, interesting beer. Who knew that 5000 miles away the Hawaiians are making futuristic beers to rival all of the worlds brewing wizards.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** magnificent.

Red Hook Ale Brewery - Winter Hook 6%

Taste: Toasted Marshmallow. Stay Puft all angry. It's hoppy though, secretly. It's smooth. Not bad at all.

Appearance: an exact match for this coffee table.

Would you buy 2? hmmm. Okay.

Would you buy 4? Not sure, I'd sooner try another. Never look back.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** big bottle regular ideas. But it's safer than an afternoon with tony hart.

Ballast Point Brewing Company - Black Marlin Porter 6%

Taste: The smell is good. Caramel coffee sweets... If they existed. Ahhh the first sip was good. Really targets pain fast™ (I got a splinter in my foot this morning). It tastes light, but it's full of flavour and a little hoppy too, which is unusual for a porter.

Appearance: the large Bottle with a photo-realistic rendering of a fighting marlin really sold this beer to me. Liquid is black with a coke head. I've just noticed that the bottle has the first beer cocktail recipe I've ever seen; half of this and half their IPA for a "black eye"! I'm curious...

Would you buy 2? Yes, but I want a black eye.

Would you buy 4? Four black eyes, yes.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** a nice beer from San Diego (where that T-Rex went on that jaunt in the documentary; Jurassic Park II).

Maui Brewing Co. - Bikini Blonde 5.1%

Taste: usually I run a mile from Helles lager, which tends to be on the toilety side. Or those runged mats in changing rooms. But this has non of that. It feels like Maui brewery just want you to have a relaxing time.

Appearance: Maybe getting a little sleazy on the can but not that sleazy. I'll allow it. Beer is sand yellow.

Would you buy 2? Yes. The deed is done.

Would you buy 4? I think I would, but I'd sooner drink the big hop IPA from Maui. That dame's okay.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** fun, for lager.

Kona Brewing Co. - Big Wave Golden Ale 5.2%

Taste: This has been my go to ale of choice in Hawaii. It's super chilled and really smooth. Perfect for hot days. It's light and a little fruity.

Appearance: Pleasing bottle. Another amber beer.... J-park.

Would you buy 2? I must have bought 12.

Would you buy 4? It's clear to seen that I would.... A chiwawa just went past... Hilarious.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** I'm not sure how it would fare when bright back to London. But on a summer's day, i'd be all over this.

Maui Brewing Co. - Coconut Porter 6%

Taste: Toasted coconut!!! It's light though, it doesn't make this porter a novelty. It's good. Real good. Really drinkable. Could be drunk quite comfortably on the beach or an oceanfront cottage in Hana.

Appearance: dark. Black or slightly mauve. In a can again. It makes little difference. I'm all for it.

Would you buy 2? There was two in my Maui Brewery taster pack. So, yes.

Would you buy 4? Yup. I'd drink lots of these.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** weird, wild stuff.

Conwy Brewery - Nadolig Hopus 4.3%

Taste: Perfumed and a little fruity. What's this got to do with Christmas? Tastes like refreshing watery exhaust fumes from a traction engine with a soapy flower and cucumber perched on top. Now that sounds like Christmas!

Appearance: Sulphurous christmas translucent yellow. A little disconcerting.

Would you buy 2? To oval up a little, why not?

Would you buy 4? I'm already looking to the ale shelf for an alternative... Or am I?

Rating (out of 7): * * * * I'm decalibrated and I know it, but my internal ale compass says 4 stars.

Skinner's - Christmas Fairy 3.9%

Taste: Classically delicious ale from Skinners. They can do no wrong. Light, biscuity and delicious. I think I could drink this forever.

Appearance: light brown, like Labrador eyes.

Would you buy 2? Yes please. Although I didn't pay for this one.

Would you buy 4? I predict that 4 would go down in about 37 minutes.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** classic brown.

Location:Lavender Gardens,,United Kingdom

Ascot Ales - Anastasia's Exile Stout 5%

Taste: Pretty light tasting. Toasted pine kernels / needles. This I growing on me. I think this is a quaffing stout. Not so much a sipper.

Appearance: Pleasingly dark. The bottle wooed me.

Would you buy 2? I'd buy this on draft in a pub.

Would you buy 4? Not sure yet.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** a pleasingly nice stout.

Location:Clapham, London

Storm Beer - Bronze Ale

Taste: Am I sucking on left over coppers from a night out boozing or drinking a fine Balinese Ale? I'd wager a bit of both. Hang on, this is really good! I'm guzzling the bloody stuff now! My god it's smooth! Wow!

Appearance: I'm sucking this beauty through a bottle so not sure. If I put my my eye down the end bit it appears to be... Brown. I love the 'Microsoft Paint' label art.

Would you buy 2? Yes Sir, I shot the Sherif and I'll take 2 of these whilst you're at it.

Would you buy 4? Indeed Sir, when you find an ale like this you should bulk buy.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Bravo for Storm Beer! Bronze Ale is seriously delicious!

Location:Jimbaran Bay, Bali, Indonesia

Storm Beer - Tropical Ale 5%

Taste: 2.5 Litre Ale Si: Fruit Injection. This is a fast ale, everything happens quickly, a flash of the tropics hits your mouth and then leaves a crisp, smooth, calm sea behind. it's basically a festival of tropical fruit flavours.

Appearance: A golden sea filled with miniature bobbing pineapples.

Would you buy 2? Have done. The question is moribund.

Would you buy 4? It could end up being a tropical prison. Should a man put this much brown fruit in his mouth? I sense mouth ulcers. No, I'll tap out after 3.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** A fun time ale to enjoy with friends. Not too natural, fruit pills have been added, I rather like them though. Best drunk in Bali.

Location: Jalan Pemogan Raya, Bali, Indonesia

Storm Beer - Pale Ale 5%

Taste: Sharp, with a citrus kick that smacks your axle! The aftertaste is like a placed claymore that detonates in your mouth but then quickly vacates leaving you thriving in pain for more!

Appearance: Like a brown sea after a tropical storm.

Would you buy 2? Sure would!

Would you buy 4? Oh yes. A gentlemen and his wife could get through a dozen of these whilst chilling by the pool.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** A real nice slice of B-Rown. It's a summer pash for sure though. Great for happy, uplifting times. Enjoy

Location:Bali

The Kernel Brewery - India Pale Ale S. C. G. A. NS 7%

Taste: Smells deliciously hoppy. Let's do this! (takes big gulp) Oh man that's good! All kinds of flavours. The spirits of six kinds of hops from all around the world all whispering in their own language. Mines slightly chilled, it being Christmas and all, but it's really tasty!

Appearance: English runny honey. Classic Bottle.

Would you buy 2? Yes please. Even more flavours are hitting me now. I've progressed to level 2.

Would you buy 4? Power up! I've defeated the level 2 boss. I think that means that Kernel are sending me four more for free (contact details on the site).

Rating (out of 7): 6****** it's rare for an ale to give your tongue an orgasm.... Six Stars!!!

Location:Clapham, London

Mikkeller - Simcoe Single Hop IPA 6.9%

Taste: Great hoppy smell.... And taste. Like wandering into a dewy meadow and munching on the morning flowers. This is powerful stuff.... Pine fresh.

Appearance: baffling bottle. I'm not sure how this came into being. Brown has a strawberry hue.

Would you buy 2? Yes. It's really complimenting my curry.

Would you buy 4? I think I would.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** a delicious IPA, maybe from space

Location:Clapham, London