Bristol Beer Factory - Smoked Chili Chipotle 5%

Taste: This sounded so disgusting that I had to try it. Buts it's actual genius! Smokey and lightly spicy. It's an Irish stout on holiday. Best yet, it doesn't taste like a novelty.

Appearance: Slightly darker than Coke.

Would you buy 2? I would. Yes.

Would you buy 4? You'd have to ask me after three.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Another interesting one from Bristol.

Bristol Beer Factory - Milk Stout 4.5%

Taste: A bold stout. Sharp, not smooth. Sticky, black sap. But, very nice. I'm getting liquorice and rain water.

Appearance: brown foam. Black liquid. Nice bottle.

Would you buy 2? Maybe so.

Would you buy 4? Maybe not.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** A bold stout.

Arbor Ales - Phoenix Stout 4.3%

Taste: Phew. The description of this on the bottle sounded disgusting. But it works well. A "bucket of dates and smoked malt" scared the bejesus out of me. It does taste very smokey but it's pleasant. For some reason, I'm getting an aniseed flavour too. (Someone's aniseed ball fell in when they were creating this "freestyle Friday" brew?)

Appearance: Too dark to tell.

Would you buy 2? I could sink two.

Would you buy 4? Perhaps!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** sounds like a happy accident. Kudos.

Camden Brewery - Ink Stout 4.4%

Taste: A very smooth creme stout. It cures what ales you and it goes well with a plate of mushrooms, it turns out. Very fresh tasting.

Appearance: ink black. Unsurprisingly. It looks so good to me.

Would you buy 2? I'd love to.

Would you buy 4? Yes please.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** the best stout I've tasted in an age.

Location:Elgin Avenue,Paddington,United Kingdom

St. Peter's - Cream Stout 6.5%

Taste: This has an unusual grassy taste, which must be coming from the dual hops. After handling baby milk as much as I do, I can really taste the flavour from the lactose sugars in this or am I imagining things? Either way, this is a pretty nice stout. It's sweet and malty and its taking away my back pain, what more could you want?

Appearance: Vimto black. Standard, lovely St. Peter's Bottle.

Would you buy 2? I think I'd take two of these.

Would you buy 4? On draught, who knows? ... Do St. Peter's keg their beer?

Rating (out of 7): 5***** a good effort!

Ska Brewing Co. - Steel Toe Stout (Working Class Milk Stout) 5.4%

Taste: A delicious sweet stout. Malty taste with the aroma of Christmas Cake. Raisin spectre,

Appearance: dark with glimmers of light. Ska bottle.

Would you buy 2? I'd like two, very much.

Would you buy 4? Yes please! At only 5.4% with this much flavour. This could be a go-to stout.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** congratulations. This is nice.

The Kernel Brewery - London Brewer's Alliance Collaboration London Stout 6.8%

Taste: Woah, that's a powerful taste. Smokey bacon aroma and a powerful malt-lick. A power-stout and weighing in at only 6.8%. I'm sure there's some kind of liquor aftertaste. Whiskey?.... Crackling?

Appearance: Crude oil.

Would you buy 2? I'd love to.

Would you buy 4? Is there any left??

Rating (out of 7): 6****** a progressive stout.

The Kernel Brewery - Imperial Brown Stout; London 1856 10%

Taste: Woah. A lot more planty than their other IBS (imperial brown stout, not irritable bowl syndrome, which this might give you if you drink too much). Like getting down and gnashing on the very stalk of a soft shielded fern. It's strong, sweetly boozy and it makes my lips sticky. What's not to love?

Appearance: it's too dark in here. I'm sure it's dark.

Would you buy 2? I have. Not both for myself.

Would you buy 4? I would. I couldn't drink them consecutively.

Rating (out of 7): 6******

Magic Rock Brewing - Dark Arts Surreal Stout 6%

Taste: Smooth! It grows in the mouth. Strange. The kind of way over-fizzy coke does. I can taste liquorice and cut grass. Because Magic Rock beers are usually transcendental, this feels a bit like a let down, although it is still highly delicious.

Appearance: Great bottle design. Dark beer.

Would you buy 2? Yes!

Would you buy 4? I could, for friends.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** still a high scorer.

Location:Wimbledon

Windsor & Eton Brewery - Tree Tops 4.8%

Taste: Wow! That's nice! I'm drinking this post-stew and there's a toasted flavour to this stout. There's Vanilla too. The flavour is deep! This is great stuff.... I've just read that it is a classic stout brewed with some traditional African ingredients to celebrate the commonwealth and brewing in that region. Interesting, I've never seen an ingredients list so long on a beer... Yams!!! There's something in here that reminds me of nettle beer for some reason.

Appearance: Very dark stout, not much head. it looks like the smooth serfice of a magic-eight ball. Small 330ml bottle looks good. Nice info on bottle.

Would you buy 2? I'd jump at the chance!

Would you buy 4? Yes please, I hope this becomes a mainstay at Windsor & Eton.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Really impressive modern brewing, up with the most interesting stouts I've tried.

Marston's - Oyster Stout 4.5%

Taste: Not bad! Mellow. Perfect follow up to the delicious Black Cod dinner. Don't know if it gets many point for interest. But it's offensometer is really low.

Appearance: Seaside based shellfish bottle. Nice dark beer.

Would you buy 2? Maybe!

Would you buy 4? I'd probably find my hand reaching deftly for the slender neck of another.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Marstons!?! Who'd have thunk it?!

Location:Victoria Rise,London,United Kingdom

Cromarty - Brewed Awakening 4.7%

Taste: Strong coffee! Like original Amazonian coffee or cocoa. Perfect before a ceremonial dance around the fire. Very drinkable, very nice, don't you think... yes.

Appearance: A starry night with volcano embers in the background. A pair of rubies sit at the bottom of the pint.

Would you buy 2? Surprisingly for a stout, yes I would. If I could handle it, I'd enjoy it.

Would you buy 4? Unlikely to make it that far. The rubies would be too heavy. I don't have a goose to smuggle those rubies in.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Fancy an ale, and a coffee? This should be your choice.

Saltaire Brewery - Triple Chocoholic 4.8%

Taste: Oh, Brother! That's rich. It's a mega flavour. I didn't think it would be a wise pairing with my Panang Curry, but it's actually extinguishing the burn. Plus, my fresh layer of tastebuds are really getting a treat. I'm really enjoying this. I love chocolate.

Appearance: The surface is pooling like an oil slick. This beer is nice and thick. It feels creamy in your mouth. Bottle is standard. Beer is dark. Real dark.

Would you buy 2? I'm going to. So yes.

Would you buy 4? I would. To stock in the. Cupboard for an especially decadent treat.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Awarded six for its bold contribution to flavour and being different.

Visit the Saltaire Brewery Website

The Kernel Brewery - Export Stout London 1890 7.1%

Taste: Tastes natural. Like a pine cone encrusted with soil or a pair of well loved gardening gloves. It's enjoyable. I'm going to savour this one. It's a confusing one to drink on the precipice of spring. It tastes very autumnal.

Appearance: I'm hoping that this is a recipe from 1890. I'd get a real bang out of a thing like that. Beer is too dark to see.

Would you buy 2? I'm going to buy one and store it for 60 years. It should do the trick when I'm ninety.

Would you buy 4? I could buy four to share, or to savour over 4 nights.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Well done!

Location:The Chase,,United Kingdom

Windsor & Eton Brewey - Conqueror 1075 Black IPA 7.4%

Taste: This beer is set nine years after whatever William the Conquerer did at the battle of Hastings. Perhaps the sequel to those events. Oh god... I love ale, It's so stouty. F**k! It's bloody. Like a battle... It's giving me a feeling of Euphoria because I haven't drunk ale since Christmas and I've been reading Game of Thrones. Tastes like all my favorite things; Marmite, Whiskey, Licorice and Cigars.

Appearance: It's got Facebook and Twitter icons on it. It's a vain attempt to drag a medieval ale into the twenty-first century. The label actually lowers my expectations... Quite eighties. Noughties taste.

Would you buy 2? Yeah. But I didn't buy the first one. The person typing this review bought it for me.

Would you buy 4? No. Too stouty... You can't drinks four of these.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Best served after a whole block of blue cheese, a whole bottle of Port, a bowl of Peanut M&M's.

Ascot Ales - Anastasia's Exile Stout 5%

Taste: Pretty light tasting. Toasted pine kernels / needles. This I growing on me. I think this is a quaffing stout. Not so much a sipper.

Appearance: Pleasingly dark. The bottle wooed me.

Would you buy 2? I'd buy this on draft in a pub.

Would you buy 4? Not sure yet.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** a pleasingly nice stout.

Location:Clapham, London

Redchurch Brewery - Hoxton Stout 6%

Taste: This is much more like it. Smokey and thick. Like holding a lump of coal under the tongue. I've used a splash in my mac and cheese dinner. It worked well.

Appearance: pleasingly dark.

Would you buy 2? Yes! Definitely.

Would you buy 4? Yeah! It's sweet!

Rating (out of 7): 6****** mega enjoyable.

Location:Clapham, London

Brooklyn Brewery - Black Chocolate Stout 10%

Taste: (Table review) It's thick, it's really thick! This stuff is 10%! Packs a punch! LA STYLE.! love it. I want more. A friendly new yorker bought this for us. Cementing our opinion that america is an amazing dream land full of awesome accented stars. U.S.A U.S.A

Appearance: black.

Would you buy 2?: if we get them bought for us again. Yes.

Would you buy 4?: see above, if I wash cash rich also.

Rating: 6****** well done new York. We love you. Especially Ghostbusters and You've got mail.

Location:Montague Close,Camberwell,United Kingdom

Brew Dog - Rip Tide 8%

Taste: Less Licorice, more smoke today. Gnawing on an ember at Rhosilli Bay after a campfire. Taking a bite then dipping it into a pot of molases, then repeating the whole ordeal. It almost has that smooth petrol feel in the mouth, but not quite. It's good.

Appearance: Ha, I just read the bottle, it's not far off my description.... Nonsense. Good beer though, Grape Black.

Would you buy 2? Perhaps. Again, I've been spoiled recently, but this is a very good stout... Of course I would.

Would you buy 4? If someone peeled the label off of the bottle first.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Totally Rad!