Hesket Newmarket Brewery - Doris' 90th Birthday 4.3%

Taste: Smooth, edge removing qualities with a tang of old tweed jackets, museums and hubba bubba. I'm gulping this - a real oblong generator!

Appearance: Label = Dic Tart album cover (one for the music fans). Ale = plaid conkers.

Would you buy 2? Tired? Weary? Edgy? You'd better!

Would you buy 4? My mind is not working

Rating (out of 7): * * * * * (medicinal ale)

Tring - Ridgeway 4%

Taste: wildly delicious luckily... I was starting to worry that beer was actually disgusting after that 3 star run. Sweet and caramelly. Hay after notes.

Appearance: coke

Would you buy 2? Hell yeah

Would you buy 4? I would. For sure!!!!

Rating (out of 7): 6****** a welcome relief. The ale festival champion for melthair!

Location:Spencer Park,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Twickenham - Smiler 4.8%

Taste: tangy... Can I have a cider after this (no). A bit like a nice grapefruit.

Appearance: normal

Would you buy 2: not for myself.

Would you buy 4: eventually.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** another three'r

Location:Spencer Park,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Twickenham - Sundancer 3.7%

Taste: hmmm smells bad to me. (good to lady) tastes crisp and light. Pretty good if you can get past the stench.

Appearance: clear and yellow

Would you buy 2? Yes.

Would you buy 4? Not right now.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** not enough interest

Location:Spencer Park,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

J.W. Lees - Vindehop 3.8%

Taste: cold coffee in a glass last used for orange squash. Fruity then... Not unpleasant

Appearance: ruby brown

Would you buy 2? Not today

Would you buy 4? No thanks

Rating (out of 7): 3***

Location:Spencer Park,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Summer Wines - Elbow Grease 3.8%

Taste: really bitter. Hard to tell because if the music. Weak lemon drink.

Appearance: weak lemon drink.

Would you buy 2? Maybe if I'd eaten to much fudge... Like that one time....

Would you buy 4? For a joke.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** not for me.

Location:Spencer Park,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Brodies - Citra 3.1%

Taste: hops and lemon. Apparently like iron filings... But thats another way of saying dry.

Appearance: lemon curd

Would you buy 2? Yeah !

Would you buy 4? Not tonight

Rating (out of 7): 5*****

Location:N Side Wandsworth Common,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Andwell - Ruddy Darter 4.6%

Taste: named after a dragon, smells like boot leather. Tastes like fruitcake.

Appearance: mud

Would you buy 2? Not today.

Would you buy 4? Cest possible

Rating (out of 7): 4**** x

Location:N Side Wandsworth Common,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Clearwater Brewery - Devon Dympsy 4%

Taste: Slightly nutty. Well it is a chestnut ale. It's working the roof of my mouth. Fairly pleasant. Crack willow branch. Imagine if you had to bite a tree, it would taste like that. I can't imagine a tree tasting as nice as this. Maybe you're right. But imagine a nice spring sapling! I tasted sap once, it was horrible! This is like a split personality review! Let's introduce a third opinion. Dwi wedi cael gormod o gwrw, dwi ddim yn gallu blasu fe. Tastes like a pack of bacon fries!

Appearance: brown. Just one word is enough. It is the definition of brown. When you look at it, there's an initial golden moment, but then it turns to dull. There's no other way to describe it.

Would you buy 2?: yeah I have. There's no denying it.

Would you buy 4?: (long sigh) life is short, time is crumbling away. To reach out for another 2 of this ale: would you be reaching for your destiny, or chasing a shattered vision?

Rating: 3 stars

Another Opinion Here >>>

Clearwater Brewery - Devon Dympsy 4%

Taste: Glistens in my mouth. Favourable homebrew. Quite watery in a good way. Very calming, they should spray this on angry crowds.

Appearance: darker than it tastes. Darker than water. Lighter than dark brown. Darker than light brown.

Would you buy 2?: yes, I have.

Would you buy 4?: I could, but there are other ales

Rating: 4 stars


Another Review Here>>>

Sharp's - Cornish Coaster 3.6%

Taste: like dandelions. Fizzy... Quite pencil woody. Nice!

Appearance: bright orange.

Would you buy 2? Yeah yeah yeah

Would you buy 4? It's possible.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** it's a pleasure boat

Location:Shaftesbury Ave,London,United Kingdom

Sharp's - Atlantic IPA 4.2%

Taste: sherbet dib dab. Light, hoppy. Stings the lips.

Appearance: brown glass ornament from the late 70's

Would you buy 2? Please!

Would you buy 4? I could.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** all good!

Location:Shaftesbury Ave,London,United Kingdom

Brew Wharf - Stop Short IPA 5.6%

Taste: a Frank Costanza based ale!!! Finally!!! That's almost worth 6 stars straight away! The feint waft of the ghosts of packed lunches past. Just like a school bag. I like it. Memories.

Appearance: muddy swamp.

Would you buy 2? For the Seinfeld reference, yes.

Would you buy 4? perhaps too strong...

Rating (out of 7): 5***** brave!

Location:Shaftesbury Ave,London,United Kingdom

Sharp's/Brew Wharf - 69 Hop Ale 5.4%

Taste: The world record for the number of hops used in a beer. It's wild tasting! So hoppy. It's good. Real good.

Appearance: Murky orange.

Would you buy 2? Yeah! Defo!

Would you buy 4? It's strong... They would floor me!

Rating (out of 7): 6****** HOPS!!!

Location:Shaftesbury Ave,London,United Kingdom

J.W. Lees - Brewer's Dark 3.2%

Taste: Smoke and coal. Like a real Guinness. Interesting. Slight ash tray!

Appearance: Black void...

Would you buy 2? I did

Would you buy 4? No more. It smells.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** sad.

Location:Beulah Rd,Merton,United Kingdom

Double Maxim - Premium brown ale 4.7%

Taste: like a roast dinner with all the trimmings. So beefy...

Appearance: raging brown

Would you buy 2? I did... I'm sorry

Would you buy 4? No!!!

Rating (out of 7): 3***

Location:Beulah Rd,Merton,United Kingdom

William Worthington's - White Shield 5.6%

Taste: Not as good as the last one... For such a boastful ale, it's not so great. Tastes like cherry bakewell.

Appearance: normal.

Would you buy 2? I did. It was a mistake.

Would you buy 4? Never

Rating (out of 7): 3*** alright

Location:Beulah Rd,Merton,United Kingdom

Castle Rock - Kiss Me Kate 5%

Taste: tastes like when you are a kid and in a pub and your dad gives you a sip of beer and you go "ergh! That's what beer tastes like!" ... It's nice though!

Appearance: amber!

Would you buy 2? I did!

Would you buy 4. Yes! Viva la royals!

Rating (out of 7): 4**** pleasurable

Fuller's - Golden Pride 8.5%

Taste: Oh boy! Strong! This could be mother's ruin. Smells like pure malt. Tastes alcoholic but pleasant and warming. But I was warm already....

Appearance: surprisingly opaque. Chestnut brown.

Would you buy 2? Hmm. For a friend to make them happy. Or to get an enemy drunk.

Would you buy 4? I can't see it for myself. For four others?

Rating (out of 7): 4**** not classic. There's an air of homebrew about this one, but it's strong enough to shake a four out of me.

Location:Buckingham Palace Rd,London,United Kingdom

Bath Ales - Golden Hare 4.4%

Taste: Shockingly delicious! It's light, but it has flavour up the wazoo! It's dry, with a hint of deep fried sugar cane. Lovely.

Appearance: initially worried by the light appearance of this beer. But it was a deception. Nice tan label.

Would you buy 2? I wish I could.

Would you buy 4? Take me to your (nearest ale) dealer!

Rating (out of 7): 6****** a high accolade. Could Bath Ales be the UK's most consistently delicious brewer?

Location:The Chase,Lambeth,United Kingdom

Bath Ales - Barnstormer 4.5%

Taste: Smells like high expectations... Lots of flavours! They keep coming. Chocolate? Dandelion and burdock? Tastes interesting... Much better than my dinner.

Appearance: Rubies in mud

Would you buy 2? Yes I would.

Would you buy 4? I would in cold climes. I fear the summer months may not be this ale's friend.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** really tasty!

Location:Buckingham Palace Rd,London,United Kingdom

Shepherd Neame - Tapping the Admiral 4.0%

Taste: although this is a war based ale, it's an interesting story involving drinking brandy from a corpse infested source, so we can be lenient. Smells boozy, tastes subtle. It's pretty retesting though. I want to say more. But I can't. Stings the throat.

Appearance: runny honey

Would you buy 2? I was given a crate...

Would you buy 4? It would be great on the beach. Maybe then.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** not extraordinary. But sweet and tasty enough.

Location:The Chase,Lambeth,United Kingdom

Cottage Brewing Company - Evening Star

Taste: Dark, velvet, a lunar eclipse.

Appearance: Old motor oil.

Would you buy 2? You bet your life!

Would you buy 4? Probably, it's dark though, my insides are anxious!

Rating (out of 7): 4, a delicious option on a winter's night.

Location:Warren Close,Fleet,United Kingdom

Shepherd Neame - Master Brew 4%

Taste: this hoppy taste doesn't go anywhere spectacular, but that's okay; I'm sat in the sun and this ale is like tanning lotion for my taste buds!

Appearance: bubbly orange

Would you buy 2? Yes, it's nice and light.

Would you buy 4? If there were no other choices... Under duress

Rating (out of 7): 4**** tasty, not ground breaking

Location:Cedar drive, Wimborne, Dorset

Green's - Premium Golden Ale 4.8%

Taste: Woah! Delightful! If a piece of sessile oak was drinkable and delicious, it would be like this. Bit of a fizz, like a bumble bee passing through a pleasurable beer garden!

Appearance: Caramel from space. A distant wooden planet?

Would you buy 2? No doubt.

Would you buy 4? Whilst on a pancake binge...

Rating (out of 7): * * * * * (a great 5)

Bowman's - Nuts 5%

Taste: tastes like a liquid bonfire night. Smokey leather. Compliments the pickled eggs perfectly by neutralising the acids.

Appearance: creosote / kate's hair

Would you buy 2? Too late. I've bought 4.

Would you buy 4? Maybe a bit thick and molassesy.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** unanimous!

Location:Bowling Alley,,United Kingdom

Brakspear - Bitter 3.8%

Taste: Pleasant biscotti yeast. Light. Quite tasty.

Appearance: teddy bear's eyes.

Would you buy 2? Okay.

Would you buy 4? I can't imagine why not.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** yummers!

Location:Hook,United Kingdom

Batemans - Dark Lord 5%

Taste: tangy and malty. It's great! Goes great with enchiladas. This is wild, gloopy stuff!

Appearance: jet black! And that fantasy artwork is really doing things for me...

Would you buy 2? Yo yo yo!

Would you buy 4? Rad! Of course

Rating (out of 7): 5***** a power ale!

Location:Ravelin Close,Fleet,United Kingdom

Titanic - Iceberg 4.1%

Taste: It's really metallic. Like sucking nails. Irony. Horse shoe esque.

Appearance: yeller'.

Would you buy 2? For an anaemic friend.

Would you buy 4? No. Someone else might.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** I enjoyed it.

Location:Ravelin Close,Fleet,United Kingdom

Wayland Smith - White Horse 4.4%

Taste: chalky. But that might be the propaganda on the blurb. Secretive... It's nice though. Like a big biscuit.

Appearance: stolen honey.

Would you buy 2? I would! It's very drinkable.

Would you buy 4? Maybe not enough here to keep me gripped.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** better than average.

Location:Ravelin Close,Fleet,United Kingdom

Springhead - The Leveller 4.8%

Taste: like toffee flavoured batteries. Smooth as a windscreen!

Appearance: pub table brown with an auburn bottom.

Would you buy 2? Hmmm yes!

Would you buy 4? Ermmm no. Not unless I was having a life changing dilemma.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** pleasant

Location:Fleet,United Kingdom

Castle Rock - Harvest Pale 4.3%

Taste: really takes the edges off. Citrus and barley! Nice!

Appearance: a summer's eve

Would you buy 2? Yeah. Needed it today.

Would you buy 4? why not? It's great.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** perfectly nice and good.

Location:Fleet,United Kingdom

York Brewery - Yorkshire Terrier 3.8%

Taste: a shock! It's nice... Well, it has dog based tap art after all. Hoppy, tangy. Not bad at all. Is that caramel I taste.

Appearance: classic brown

Would you buy 2? Yup.

Would you buy 4? If there was others to taste, then no. Otherwise, party on!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** another goodun!

Location:London,United Kingdom

Holden's - Golden Glow 4%?

Taste: sweet and hoppy. Like being left to go wild in a wheat field. Very tasty. Honey? With some heavenly smell too.

Appearance: chicken drippings. In a nice way.

Would you buy 2? Hell yeah!

Would you buy 4? I think I could drink a lot of these... But I've had a lot of medication today including a bottle of benilyn.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** good times roll!

Otley Brewing Company - O4 Columbo 4%

Taste: So strawy! Like a liquid haybail! Oh? Lemonade? Spot on!

Appearance: Sample.

Would you buy 2? I don't see why not.

Would you buy 4? They would be easily drunk. We just bought 4 actually.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** ..... Just one more thing.....

Location:The old coffee shop. Marshall St,London,United Kingdom

Brodies - IPA 4%

Taste: it's quite acrid. It slips down. Like when dumbledore extracts memories into the pensive. Silky. Also it's cured my sore throat. Magic!

Appearance: yellow.

Would you buy 2? Oh yeah.

Would you buy 4? No. Due to choice.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** a fair shot

Location:Brewer St,London,United Kingdom the old coffee shop

Adnams - American style IPA 4.8%

Taste: crisp, refreshing and mega hoppy. It's taking the edge off... It tastes like licking a hop.

Appearance: hmmm, honey.

Would you buy 2? Yeah. It's goooood.

Would you buy 4? Okay. I'm convinced. This is nice beer!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** good times roll...

Location:Woolpack, London bridge

Red Squirrel - Red Tail Pale Ale 3.6%

Taste: gingery like a red squirrel. Very refreshing! Water?

Appearance: golden and summery.

Would you buy 2? Yes!

Would you buy 4? Okay. You've twisted my leg.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** very nice.

Location:Lavender Hill,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Truman's - Runner 4%

Taste: bitter, no light enough for my current taste. Still a Bice clear taste. No messin'...

Appearance: mahogany

Would you buy 2? Yeah, I would.

Would you buy 4? Not tonight.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** nice!

Location:Lavender Hill,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Breconshire Brewery - Brecon County Ale 3.6%

Taste: Honey water. A subtle wheat taste.

Appearance: bronze!

Would you buy 2? I did. It wasn't a mistake.

Would you buy 4? Okay. If it was sunnier it would be more welcome.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** good stuff!

Location:London,United Kingdom

Brodies - Special 4.8%

Taste: Molasses and smoke. A complex ale. Very tasty and a delicious surprise. Chocolate aftertaste. Woody, like a church pew.

Appearance: Dark mahogany brown.

Would you buy 2? Yes please!!!

Would you buy 4? You buy ME four!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** interesting, interesting...

Location:The queen's head, kings cross

Downton Brewery - New Forest Ale 3.8%

Taste: ergh! I've swallowed bath water... Oh no... It's ale... It tastes fat and round. What a strange ale. Toad-like.

Appearance: so, so still. Looks like a drawing room sofa.

Would you buy 2? Non monsieur.

Would you buy 4? Sorry, I'd be pulling toads out of my throat for weeks.

Rating (out of 7): 2** no thanks!

Location:Eagle ale house, Clapham

Tintagel - Castle Gold 4.2%

Taste: a wee bit like tonic water. Quinine ripe. There's something bold and metally about it. What an assertive ale.

Appearance: gold bullion.

Would you buy 2? Not for myself. But qui.

Would you buy 4? For four friends and aquaintances.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** a highly commended four. It's courageous.

Location:London,United Kingdom eagle ale house.

Two Bridges - Golden Cygnet 4.8%

Taste: Refreshing and milky. Floral. Like sweet, crunchy spring buds. Really very nice.

Appearance: cygnet beak yellow.

Would you buy 2? Can and have.

Would you buy 4? Yes. But there is work to be done here tonight.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** does the queen own cygnets? Or does she get them only when they turn White?

Location:The eagle ale house, Clapham

Marston's - Owd Rodger 7.6%

Taste: Cuts off before I can get a handle on it! It's the hops! It's like falling down the last step of stairs.. Panic! Then it's over and you're out the door without a care in the world.

Appearance: Flat Coke like your mum used to give you when you had an upset stomach.

Would you buy 2?: Well, it's very strong. Too strong? A second could cause a man to turn a little cantankerous. No.

Would you buy 4?: "Boy, you gots to be crazier than a mangy dog."

Rating: 3*** - A shot in the arm. A quick fix! 7.6 straight to the heart!

Location:Dupont Rd,Merton,United Kingdom

>>> Check out what another reviewer thought of Owd Roger Here.

Timothy Talyor - Landord 4.3%

Taste: yeah, it's really nice. The best ale we've had here. But it's not grabbing me by the bollards. Smells like 'playing it safe', the easy setting on Streets Of Rage. However, there's a lot to be said about driving down the middle of the road.. Can millions of brown drinkers be wrong?.... Whoa!!! Controversial.... This has turned into quite the debate. It's a well known "session" beer. My question to you is this; are drinkers that love session beers afraid??? Afraid of what's out there? Take a risk for goodness sake!!! Oh, it tastes like a slice of your stereotypical brown.

Appearance: Rusty water peppered with copper coins.

Would you buy 2? Yes, of course! But that's the problem isn't it?!

Would you buy 4? Christ! Maybe? I guess I would. What does that mean? It's an ale paradox.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** the debate rages on...

Location:Dartmouth Park Hill,Islington,United Kingdom

Bass - Bass Premium 4.4%

Taste: Absolutely disgusting! Like an old man offering you re-wrapped sweets.

Appearance: Untrustworthy syrup.

Would you buy 2?: Only at gun point.

Would you buy 4?: "Boy, you crazy!"

Rating: 2 - Don't shove grandad sweets into my ale!

Location:The Steeles, Chalk Farm

Adnams - Oyster Stout 4.3%

Taste: smells like a meat pie. Tastes like blood. A delicious lingering flavour. This is great taste-time. PANG!!!

Appearance: oil.

Would you buy 2? I don't know. It's rattled me. It's giving me the clogs.

Would you buy 4? It's too much for any man.

Rating (out of 7): ****4 I'm confused.

Location:Dartmouth Park Hill,Islington,United Kingdom