Sambrooks - Lavender Hill 4.5%

Taste: This has taken the taste of Sambrook's Wandle and run a mile with it. It is ever so slightly Belgium in taste. Light and summery. I'm enjoying it.

Appearance: Amber.

Would you buy 2? I most definitely would.

Would you buy 4? Yes!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** very delicious

The Kernel Brewery - IPA Double Citra 9.7%

Taste: Wow!!!! Zing!!! Too much flavour! Time travel taste buds. The smell is wonderful. If I drank a litre of this I'd come through the other side and the curse would be broken.

Appearance: Cloudy tagine dish.

Would you buy 2? Yes

Would you buy 4? Yes, to impress my guests or a lover.

Rating (out of 7): 6***** double threes all round.

Redchurch Brewery - Shoreditch Blonde 4.5%

Taste: Smells less like a blonde and more like weak squash. Luckily the taste is wonderful. It's hard to describe. But it can be likened to biting into a brown bread, flower sandwich. Petals, stamen. The whole shebang. Nice.

Appearance: Ghostly yellow.

Would you buy 2? I would.

Would you buy 4? I could, very quickly.

Rating (out of 7): 5*****

Camden Brewery - Ink Stout 4.4%

Taste: A very smooth creme stout. It cures what ales you and it goes well with a plate of mushrooms, it turns out. Very fresh tasting.

Appearance: ink black. Unsurprisingly. It looks so good to me.

Would you buy 2? I'd love to.

Would you buy 4? Yes please.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** the best stout I've tasted in an age.

Location:Elgin Avenue,Paddington,United Kingdom

The Kernel Brewery - India Pale Ale Summit 7.5%

Taste: A version of their IPA brewed using Summit hops. It tastes incredible. Right up my ale street... Bitter and piney but not overpowering. I'm enjoying it.

Appearance: Orange. Severe dehydration. Classic bottle.

Would you buy 2? Yes. Now, please.

Would you buy 4? I would stock four. To drink four in a row would be a biggy.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Great stuff.

Sambrook's Brewery - Pale Ale 4.2%

Taste: That's nice. Along the lines of their 'Wandle' beer, but has a different hop flavour. Four different varieties apparently. Delicious! I appreciate your efforts. The citrus blast will accompany my bean chilli perfectly.


Appearance: Really transparent. It almost isn't there. Although, it is.

Would you buy 2? Yes. Keep them flowing.

Would you buy 4? Yes please! I can never seem to find this one in the pubs though. They are all like "no mate, we've only got Wandle or junction on." and i'm all, like "Wandle please."

Rating (out of 7): 5***** you'd not be unhappy if you tried this.

Meantime - Chocolate Porter 6.5%

Taste: The moment you're pouring a chocolate beer is the very moment that you regret buying one.... But, alas, it's delicious! More Tiramisu than just plain choc; Biscuit. Booze. Coffee? And chocolate. Am I missing something?! Oh... Creme.... I forget my point.

Appearance: It looks suspiciously like an 'Old Peculiar' I had earlier... Nice bottle.

Would you buy 2? I think I'd go that far. Maybe further...

Would you buy 4? Too far...

Rating (out of 7): 5***** good effort. A worthwhile beer in this world of three star'ers.

Hackney Brewery - Golden Ale 'Emperor Yes Ltd Edition' 4%

Taste: A nice special edition here to celebrate my best friend's band, Emperor Yes' single launch. It's nice stuff. A Heavily hopped golden ale which should be drunk long and deep to be best enjoyed. Home-brew yeastiness is lurking there in the background. But that's like getting a handshake from an old friend.

Appearance: Maui Sunset Orange.

Would you buy 2? Yes! You'd be a fool not to.

Would you buy 4? Over four is when you'd be getting the benefits. So yes.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Mmmm Delicious!

The Kernel Brewery - Export India Porter 6.1%

Taste: That's nice! Lighter than I expected. Lots of toasted flavours in there. Malty. It's paired my homemade chips and tamarind sauce nicely. My word, it's very easy drinking for it's strength!

Appearance: Mahogany. stained Oak. Classic bottle, now with not so good font.

Would you buy 2? Yes please.

Would you buy 4? Of course. I told you!!!

Rating (out of 7): 6****** lovely stuff!

East London Brewing Co. - Pale Ale 4.0%

Taste: Mmm buttery ale heaven. Slips down so well in the sunshine. It's so polite.

Appearance: Golden Retriever.

Would you buy 2? Yes. It's done.

Would you buy 4? I wish.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** lovely stuff

Location:Woodhayes Rd,London,United Kingdom

Franklin's Brewery Co. - Dry Hop 3.6%

Taste: delicious! It washes off the stench of boule defeat. So summery. Hoppy, but in a smooth buttery way. Not 9volt.

Appearance: Light Deliciousness. Modern Label.

Would you buy 2? We have.

Would you buy 4? I wish. But there are another 7 work-ales here.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** weak but tasty. Awesome.

Visit Franklin's Brewery Here

The Kernel Brewery - Pale Ale, Bramling Cross 5.7%

Taste: A worrying yeast explosion on opening with a home brew smell. My fears were quashed once tasted. It goes tastily well paired with my F&C's (Fish and Chips) with enough sharpness to cut through the grease. the beer is hoppy, not without it's home brew charms.

Appearance: Cloudy murky depths. The water that the pickled ripleys are in, in Alien Resurrection.

Would you buy 2? I could enjoy two of these. The larger sized bottle's a treat too.

Would you buy 4? Four? There are too many ales in this world to stay still on this.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** ultimately enjoyable ale.

The Kernel Brewery - Export Stout London 1890 7.1%

Taste: Tastes natural. Like a pine cone encrusted with soil or a pair of well loved gardening gloves. It's enjoyable. I'm going to savour this one. It's a confusing one to drink on the precipice of spring. It tastes very autumnal.

Appearance: I'm hoping that this is a recipe from 1890. I'd get a real bang out of a thing like that. Beer is too dark to see.

Would you buy 2? I'm going to buy one and store it for 60 years. It should do the trick when I'm ninety.

Would you buy 4? I could buy four to share, or to savour over 4 nights.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Well done!

Location:The Chase,,United Kingdom

The Kernel Brewery - IPA Black III 7.4%

Taste: The third incarnation of an already six star beer still has a brave smell and it's half a percent stronger this batch. That's a bonus.... My god! That's the best feeling beer I've ever tasted! It has the feel of cream. Cream that tastes like beer. It sticks all over your mouth touching every tastebud. Still tastes like coffee and yoghurt with a hop crumble.

Appearance: Black oil. I like that the three in the name is written in numerals. Like a film. Or a clock.

Would you buy 2? Yes please. A supping beer can't get any better.

Would you buy 4? Immediately.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** quite amazing.

Location:Victoria Rise,London,United Kingdom

The Kernel Brewery - IPA Columbus Summit 6.8%

Taste: Nectar. Too good for words. The Kiwi's have a lot to answer for. The first sip quickly descended into a discussion about UK high gravity beer tax and the ignorance of UK government officials and their perception of the ale drinking market. To the bureaucrats down at city hall a special brew tramp and an ale connoisseur are the same thing on paper.

Appearance: It's cloudy, forgivably, and golden. Sample, but in a nice way.

Would you buy 2? Yup. It's a good-time beer.

Would you buy 4? Yes. But I would need it in writing that I Would be "taken care of" after I have drunk them. These are a strict mistress.... Did you know Beyonce just had a baby?

Rating (out of 7): 6****** As sweet as a trip to the Rotorua Agrodome. Where you might see the best sheep pyramid on earth and where I received a certificate of 'udderance' for milking a cow on stage.

The Kernel Brewery - India Pale Ale S. C. G. A. NS 7%

Taste: Smells deliciously hoppy. Let's do this! (takes big gulp) Oh man that's good! All kinds of flavours. The spirits of six kinds of hops from all around the world all whispering in their own language. Mines slightly chilled, it being Christmas and all, but it's really tasty!

Appearance: English runny honey. Classic Bottle.

Would you buy 2? Yes please. Even more flavours are hitting me now. I've progressed to level 2.

Would you buy 4? Power up! I've defeated the level 2 boss. I think that means that Kernel are sending me four more for free (contact details on the site).

Rating (out of 7): 6****** it's rare for an ale to give your tongue an orgasm.... Six Stars!!!

Location:Clapham, London

Redchurch Brewery - Hoxton Stout 6%

Taste: This is much more like it. Smokey and thick. Like holding a lump of coal under the tongue. I've used a splash in my mac and cheese dinner. It worked well.

Appearance: pleasingly dark.

Would you buy 2? Yes! Definitely.

Would you buy 4? Yeah! It's sweet!

Rating (out of 7): 6****** mega enjoyable.

Location:Clapham, London

Redchurch Brewery - Bethnal Pale Ale 5.5%

Taste: Fizzy. It's stings my cankers. Nice flavour. Hoppy and dry. It's got a home brew character, but it's intentions are good.

Appearance: orange. Like cheddar valley cider.

Would you buy 2? Not this one. Although I bought two others from redchurch.

Would you buy 4? I don't think so,

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Not my cup of ale but it's ale-heart's in the right place.

Location:Clapham

The Kernel Brewery - Saison 7%

Taste: Quite Belgium in style. With orange and citrus notes that play off of my Salt & Vinegar spirals perfectly. It smells a bit like gin, or Juniper, I should say. Not Gordons though, more like Magellan. Okay.... Imagine half a bottle of Lé Choffé mixed with a nice IPA....

Appearance: Straw and Gold. Viscous.

Would you Buy 2? Yes please. If all beers were of this standard, this curse wouldn't be so bad.

Would you Buy 4? Yes, if I was feeling continental.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** For the shear joy I feel that beers can be delicious, after all. I think I'm done with the vats of brown swill...

Brodie's - Superior London Porter 10%

Taste: Whoa! Smells like epoxy glue, or grout. Strong. It's good that it's bold, I'm not into strong beers with a watery quality, you just end up gulping for a flavour. Tastes sweet, thick and alcoholic. Describing it as 'superglue coated coals, dunked into a molasses malt vat' may not sound too appealing, but it's really, really good! I could sip on this all night long. It's even slightly fruity... I think... I'm drunk.

Appearance: Proper black. Like olden times. The label is really old timey London somehow.

Would you buy 2? I'm watching Neil Young's Silver & Gold concert. He's sat at the piano, playing Philadelphia, it's amazing... What? Two? Yes!

Would you buy 4? I will be buying four, eventually. I don't think I'd manage more than two in an evening though, due to the strength.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Goodness gracious me! That's some fine Porter!