Brains - Aporkalypse 4.5%

Taste: The taste of smokey bacon rashers being dipped in your pint. That metallic taste you get in blood. However more coppery than iron. Re-reassuringly autumnal.

Appearance: Handsome

Would you buy 2? Yes

Would you buy 4? Why not?

Rating (out of 7): 5 * * * * *.  Brains are definitely improving...

Brains - Pils from the Hills (5%)

Taste: Refreshing, light and citrussy. A hint of chocolate.

Appearance: Golden carrots.

Would you buy 2? Yes

Would you buy 4? No

Rating (out of 7): 4 * * * *. Such a small bottle!

Brains - Atlantic White 6%

Taste: Citrus flutes. Lime ale.

Appearance: Orange juice, no?

Would you buy two? Eh? Yeh.

Would you buy four? Only if I could drink it with friends. After four I would be on my way to Tipperary

Rating (out of 7): 5 * * * * * Brains are upping their game

Brains - Boilermaker 6.5%

Taste:  Whisky warmth. Certainly. It has got that taste  of over 5%. I'm enjoying it, but it's definitely an ale for a certain type of discerning gentleman. Might give you gout in the long run.

Appearance: Bit difficult to tell in a chalice

Would you buy 2? Most definitely

Would you buy 4? A crate

Rating (out of 7): 6 * * * * * *. I'm in the mood for this kind of ale. A step up.

Brains - Fir King Good (4%)

Taste: Earthy but the christmas pump art was misleading. Where's the spices? This is not bad, it's just standard. We suspect Brains had a leftover ale and an 'amusing' name  and tried to hitch a ride on the christmas ale train. Shame really.

Appearance: Table brown

Would you buy 2? We've got three of the suckers.

Would you buy 4? Bah humbug.

Rating (out of 7): 4 * * * * Drinkable. Standard. Not christmas.

Brains - Barry Island IPA (6%)

Taste: Woah yeast/ malt combo explosion in the mouth. An envigorating lemon zing and then... it burns smoothly away to nothing. Fizzle.

Appearance: Bronze torque.

Would you buy 2? There's a thought. Go on then.

Would you buy 4? Mmmmmmm.

Rating (out of 7): 5 * * * * *. For a Brains!

Brains - Organ Morgan (4%)

Taste: It's floral and has a touch of rusty metal. Not over powering and easily consumable. A touch too watery? Refreshing I suppose...

Appearance: The exact same colour as the edge of a volcanic hot spring.

Would you buy 2? What would Dylan Thomas do?

Would you buy 4? I would be tempted elsewhere.

Rating (out of 7): 4 * * * * A summer ale I reckon. Now where's a delicious wintery porter?

Brains - SA 4.2%

Taste: Ubiquitous in South Wales. This ale, according to the brewery website, is called Skull Attack by some. This makes the ale sound way more threatening / exciting than it is. It has an initial taste that is hoppy burn with an added slight walnut twang and then the taste fades to watery blandness. It disappears easy but doesn't linger in the memory at all.

Appearance:  light conker.

Would you buy 2?  Sometimes you have to, in certain pubs.

Would you buy 4?  With other options, there's no reason why.

Rating (out of 7):  3 * * * A safety net ale - it's often there when a pub is lacking in ale, but it's very uninspiring.

Brains - Rev James 4.5%

Taste:  An ale that is so ubiquitous in South Wales I'm not sure how it escaped the net cast by the review trawler. It tastes of... well.. it tastes generic. But there is a taste! Licking a cast iron gate with a very slight  rusty burn. The texture of milk or creamflow (uh oh). Easy to drink - but so is plain old water.

Appearance:  Red dog fur that been in the sea off Morfa Sands, Port Talbot.

Would you buy 2?  In certain pubs it would be a yes.

Would you buy 4?  In bottled form, it would be a no - I've always hope for more from ale

Rating (out of 7):  3 * * * Easy to drink - because it's a touch too bland.

Brains - Black (4.1%)

Taste: Processed slices of smoked ham and it's malty for sure. Leathery - reminds me of the taste you get when you passed the tannery in Downton, Wiltshire. This has been chilled way too much for my liking.

Appearance: Very very very dark red. Quite pleasing to the eye.

Would you buy 2? In a Brains pub, with limited options? Might be a good choice.

Would you buy 4? Time to move pubs.

Rating (out of 7): 4 * * * * It's fine, but there's always better out there.

Brains - Merlin's Oak (4.3%)

Taste: Acidic leaf litter with a fruity aroma. Has someone forgot to wash the fairy liquid out of the glass? Gets rid of the blandness mind you.

Appearance: A mix between a cola and tizer, all frothed up.

Would you buy 2? In an optionless world, yes.

Would you buy 4? In a world of choice, no.

Rating (out of 7): * * * * (gets a 4 by the skin of it's ale teeth. A mistaken finger in the ratings vote?)