Orkney Brewery - Northern Light Pale Ale 4%

Taste: Peppery lemon scent. Delicious taste! Very light though. It should go well with my pizza. Hoppy with citrus and dried fruit frenzy.

Appearance: Haytasia. Bottle has a lot of information.

Would you buy 2? I Think so!

Would you buy 4? Is there enough to hold my attention?

Rating (out of 7): 5***** much better than average. A delicious drop.

Swannay Brewery - Orkney Porter 9%

Taste: This smells sweetly alcoholic, like a boozy Christmas pudding. Initial taste was a wall of dark chocolate, which pleased me tremendously. It's nice and gloopy too. There's nothing that will displease me more than a thin porter of this strength. It's all going well. The classic feeling that there is a vanilla and raisin taste is hitting me.

Appearance: Dark at first glance. But it's a deep burgundy. Intriguing bottle. Who's Rob Hill?

Would you buy 2? I'd like two. Do you have two? Can I have them?

Would you buy 4? If I can find it again at UTObeer (borough) I'll pick four up for sure.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** A beer to savour. Pleasurable crude oil (but red).

Location:Clapham, London

Orkney Brewery - Dark Island Reserve 10%

Taste: It's deep and intense. You need time to come to terms with it. Smells like sherry trifle. Whiskey wood wonder. Speechless. It starts off blood like. (That witch pony from earlier has really messed with me). Sweet alcoholic nose.

Appearance: witch-pony mane black. Like the eyes of a hell hound. Great looking individually signed swing top bottles.

Would you buy 2: yes! If I had infinite funds.

Would you buy 4? no, I have finite funds.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** wildly extravagant.

Orkney Brewery - Red MacGregor 4.0%

Taste: Smells slightly of caramel, which I can get on board with. On first taste I was a little scared that I'd picked up a glass of water, but the taste kicks in with a two second delay. It's quite smokey in a way, burnt maybe? There's plenty of taste there, but it's hard with the initial wateriness. If you take a break, it tastes like you've been noshing an entire pack of biscuits. Which is nice.

Appearance: It's actually red. Nice colour with a fluffy white hat. Bottle has some Middle Earth imagery.

Would you buy 2? Sorry Red, I don't think you're for me. I've had some gigantic flavour of late, and this isn't cutting it.

Would you buy 4? Who knows? I might accidentally order four one day. I tend to mumble, and the bar staff might get confused.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Lots going on... Just in a different room.