Shepherd Neame - Kentish Ale

Taste: it's almost essexish but a little bit more chalky. salt on a blackboard. Kent has a lot of chalk.

Appearance: magma

Would you buy 2? I'd buy 3!!!

Would you buy 4? Yes. 5 no...

Rating (out of 7): 3* nice grandfather ale.

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Double Maxim - Brown Ale 4.7%

Taste: tastes like wringing the moisture out of campfire clothes. Tasty. Not that exciting though. Just nods....

Appearance: fake guinness. Foamy too.

Would you buy 2? Depends what else is on.... Probably no!

Would you buy 4? It's hard to tell but clearly not....

Rating (out of 7): 3* split the vote!

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Thwaites - Very Nutty Black 3.9%

Taste: fizzy blood! Heavy and light at the Same time. Described ad export strength at 3.9%.... must be a joke. Also.... wHERe ARE THE nUTS!?!??

Appearance: congealed blood.

Would you buy 2? Might be a bit odd.

Would you buy 4? No. Tastes like licking someones guts...

Rating (out of 7): 2 * another stinker!!!

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Wells - Bombardier Burning Gold 4.7%

Taste: Another phantom ale. Just wasting everyone's time. No taste, therefore no more comment.

Appearance: urine sample. Clingy.

Would you buy 2? Accidentally I have.

Would you buy 4? Not a chance.

Rating (out of 7): 1 - It's blandness is foul.

Location:Beauchamp St,Riverside,United Kingdom

Cains - Raisin Beer 5%

Taste: not entirely bad but where's the raisins? Hmm, where are the raisins? I taste the air not a rich raising roast as you would hope.




Taste:

Appearance: disappointing. Lack of raisin visuals.

Would you buy 2? Only to disappoint a friend.

Would you buy 4? Can't imagine a situation where you would want to.... A raisinless world?!

Rating (out of 7): 2
Vomit in a swimming pool.

Location:Beauchamp St

Bragdy Conwy Brewery - Balchder Cymru 4%

Taste: blonde! A bit ashy... It's alright though. Not a bad ash, more like volcanic ash than fag ash. Homebrewy.... Yes

Appearance: cloudy Amber with mucus middle.

Would you buy 2? For an experiment.

Would you buy 4? I don't know. I can't remember anymore.

Rating (out of 7): 4* extra point for intrigue.

Location:Grange Pl,,United Kingdom

Wolf Brewery - Granny Wouldn't Like It 4.8%

Taste: horsey! Difficult. ... Horsey void or a stable yard paradox.

Appearance: savoy brown

Would you buy 2? Probably. It's hard when you know there are others out there.

Would you buy 4? For four different friends. But not for the same friends.

Rating (out of 7): 4 **** more flavours coming out now.

Location:Grange Pl,,United Kingdom

Sambrook's Brewery - Powerhouse Porter 5%

Taste: dark matter. A parallel taste universe intertwined with my taste buds.

Appearance: molasses

Would you buy 2? Uh huh uh huh. I'd like two please, bar keep!

Would you buy 4? Choco overload!

Rating (out of 7): **** it's not bad. Not at all. Nope. No sir'ee.

Fuller's - London Porter 5.4%

Taste: blood, coffee and chocolate. It's teasing me with it's malt.

Appearance: Motor oil

Would you buy 2? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Would you buy 4? I would. It's like drinking a box of quality streets.

Rating (out of 7): ***** 5 it's go time!!!

St. Peter's - Ruby Red Ale 4.3%

Taste: charred conkers!!! ***confused lip smacks.... I imagine it's what a cow's clean hoof would taste like.

Appearance: blood

Would you buy 2? At a conker tournament or during a conker battle to psyche out an opponent

Would you buy 4? No. Shaking head wildly*

Rating (out of 7): 3 almost good.

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

Shepherd Neame - Late Red 4.5%

Taste: should taste like chestnut but it doesn't. So I don't know. Could taste of so much more. It's promising when it touches your lips, but then it turns into a ghost ale.

Appearance: not as red as the name suggests.

Would you buy 2? Mmmmm.... I might, due to the misleading virgin gulp.

Would you buy 4? No.

Rating (out of 7): 3 *** tricked!!!

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

Celt Experience - Golden Ale 3.8%

Taste: cereal... Hint of homebrew and squash.

Appearance: squashed wasp.

Would you buy 2? Hmmm. And brrrrppp. (undecided sounds)

Would you buy 4? No. Unlikely

Rating (out of 7): 3 *** but a low 3

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

Celt Experience - Bronze 4.5%

Taste: toffee quality street. Lubricating my rusty brain.

Appearance: bronze!

Would you buy 2? Yeah, I reckon

Would you buy 4? (laughter)

Rating (out of 7): 4 **** a tough review...

Location:Warwick St,,United Kingdom

George Gale & Co. - Seafarers Ale 4.2%

Taste: bubbly! Tingly... Effervescent.

Appearance: Copper plate

Would you buy 2? I cam imagine a few situations

Would you buy 4? Might not hold up in the court of law

Rating (out of 7): **** better than "that drawer"

Hambleton ales - Taylor's Tipple 4.5%

Taste: tastes like it's been stored in a men's toilet. Nick stafford's got a lot to answer for. Tastes like helles wheat. (toilet smell).

Appearance: standard issue. No interesting note.

Would you buy 2? Never!

Would you buy 4? ................

Rating (out of 7): ** disappointing

Greene King - Sundance 4.3%

Taste: really refreshing. It's smoothed my edges. It's light, but still tastes like something.... Copper.

Appearance: Bear's eyes

Would you buy 2? Yup. But it's the winter now and this is a summer ale.

Would you buy 4? For a day in a field or car park.

Rating (out of 7): **** allllllright!

Bath Ales - Festivity 5%

Taste: it's porter time! I'm liking it. Especially as we're due snow

Appearance: oil

Would you buy 2? Okay. I will.

Would you buy 4? Hmm, I'd have to be really dug in next to the fire at a pub to get four of these. I'd be full.

Rating (out of 7): ***** not bad at all

Location:Asda carpark

Jennings - Cumberland Ale 4.7%

Taste: At first it tasted like drinking from a stream. Now i've settled into the mellow flavour. It's smooth... Real smooth!

Appearance: bronze

Would you buy 2? Yes, yes I would.

Would you buy 4? Why not... Continued drinking could remain fun.

Rating (out of 7): **** It won't change your world. But it could take the edge off.

Hogs Back Brewery - Tea 4.2%

Taste: skittle alley ball wood. Slighty sweaty but not unpleasant .

Appearance: pumpkin

Would you buy 2? Nnnnoooo

Would you buy 4? Can't see why.

Rating (out of 7): *** get in that drawer!

St. Peter's - IPA 5.5%

Taste: delicious. After that wet flannel of an ale I had last night this blows my mind. Strong and sweetly boozy.

Appearance: it's too dark in here to tell. But I'm guessing it's brown.

Would you buy 2? Certainly my friend. I recommend that you do the same.

Would you buy 4? 5.5??? Sounds scary.

Rating (out of 7): ***** dare I give it 6? No

Williams - Black 4.2%

Taste: malty tease. Could do with some extra strength. Then again, I did know it was 4.2 when I bought it.

Appearance: there's no denying it's blackness.

Would you buy 2? Not interesting enough.

Would you buy 4? Good replacement for water. So if my taps broke and the shop had no bottled water and it wasn't raining, I'd buy four. For thirst.

Rating (out of 7): *** I'm drinking it, but my tongue is saying "so what!?"

Location:A bench, Clapham common

Hogs Back Brewery - A Over T 9%

Taste: tastes like blood. Hint of ribena. Like licking an iron girder/scab. Oh god it's okay. It's a finishing move. Who who open an act this way??? No one, I bet.

Appearance: boiled blood

Would you buy 2? Death wish.

Would you buy 4? Morgue

Rating (out of 7): *** I've come down to a 3. This ale ain't foolin' me!

Location:John Archer Way,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Phoenix Brewery - White Monk 4.5%

Taste: taste like Halloween, dull like the dead.

Appearance: Light. Odd, should be dark. It's so dull.

Would you buy 2? No

Would you buy 4? Are you crazy?!

Rating (out of 7): 2

Location:John Archer Way,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Downton Brewery - Pumpkin Ale 4.5%

Taste: eggy. Delicious. Fibre

Appearance: Amber

Would you buy 2? Yeah boys!!!

Would you buy 4? Pooh whiffy

Rating (out of 7): **** stinky

Location:London,United Kingdom

Phoenix Brewery - Flash Flood 4.1 %

Taste: firstly football in mouth followed by juicy lemon.

Appearance: light and clear

Would you buy 2? Yeah real nice

Would you buy 4? No. It would have to be sent from the gods

Rating (out of 7): **** soggy football

Location:London,United Kingdom

Brewdog - Paradox Springbank 10%

Taste: so warming. Bloody amazing! The whiskey / stout combo is really working

Appearance: coke

Would you buy 2? Yeah, but it's pretty pricey

Would you buy 4? Too strong to drink four!

Rating (out of 7): 6******

Location:Old Town,Lambeth,United Kingdom

Skinner's - Sunset Watering Hole 3.9%

Taste: skinners of Truro have done it again. The perfect beer to enjoy in the perfect county! Summer in a glass!

Appearance: too dark to tell.

Would you buy 2? Yes. And will

Would you buy 4? Of course. I'll go to the brewery and swim in it!

Rating (out of 7): ******6 awesome!

Location:Dorothy Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Fullers - Seafarer's ale 3.6%

Taste: smooth, caramelly. Slips down smooth. Perfect summer ale. As much as you try to get away from calling it that, it IS smooth.

Appearance: top to a duracell battery. Only clear.

Would you buy 2? Have and would again.

Would you buy 4? Hmmm
Maybe. Maybe. As long
As there were no others on.

Rating (out of 7): *****

Location:Dorothy Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Fuller's - Bengal Lancer IPA

Taste: delicious with curry! Strong too, it turns out. Thought I was relaxed.

Appearance: orange like kate's eyes

Would you buy 2? For sure. It's a tasty number.

Would you buy 4? May be a little strong for that. Can't say it wouldn't be nice though.

Rating (out of 7): ***** a solid ale

Young's - London Gold 4.0%

Taste: Melony. Watery. Saturating. Like a soapy cucumber.

Appearance: golden brown stain

Would you buy 2? It's not for me to say.

Would you buy 4? No. But I know a few butterflies down at kew that would love to!

Rating (out of 7): *** file it under 3 with all the other unoffencive ales.

Location:Oxford Rd N,Hounslow,United Kingdom

Jennings - Sneck Lifter 5.1%

Taste: coffee quality street at Xmas... Burnt toffee. It's what ale should be, interesting and
In your face. Powdery molasses.

Appearance: coca cola.

Would you buy 2? Of course!

Would you buy 4? Bit thick. On a winters day, by a fire. Defo!

Rating (out of 7): ******6 a bit like tia maria and Guinness!

Location:Grove Park Rd,Hounslow,United Kingdom

Check out another Sneck Lifter review here.

Adnams - Explorer 4.3%

Taste: watery, hint of pineapple and tin foil. Plane tree tickles. Orangy.

Appearance: transparent.

Would you buy 2? We just bought 4

Would you buy 4? Ummmm

Rating (out of 7): **** split the vote

Location:Kew Green,Richmond,United Kingdom

Bowman's - Elderado 3.5%

Taste: fruit festival. Controls the action at a push of a button

Appearance: transformer man

Would you buy 2? Course!!!!

Would you buy 4? With the right kind Of associates, why not.

Rating (out of 7): ***** underrated, but some of his best work. (this may actually be a review for the neil young album; trans.)

Phoenix Brewery - White tornado 4.3%

Taste: would you believe. Another 9er. Tastes strong. Pencil on the tongue.

Appearance: angelic

Would you buy 2? Much of the same.. Nit now

Would you buy 4? Not ever!

Rating (out of 7):*** tired of you

St George's - Friar Tuck 4%

Taste: bit watery, good for a hot day, but too subtle by far

Appearance: gone

Would you buy 2? After a marathon

Would you buy 4? Nahhh

Rating (out of 7): *** a bit boring

Location:Chatham Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Hammerpot - HPA 4.2%

Taste: another 9 volt. But I
Like the shock! Refreshing. Cooling. Cooing.

Appearance: clear with effervesant lingering bubbles. Which have now gone

Would you buy 2? I'm at an ale
Festival you fool!

Would you buy 4? Not today

Rating (out of 7): **** solid

Milton - Pegasus 4.1%

Taste: mule flower taste. With a distinct rubber follow-through

Appearance: nutty

Would you buy 2? Yes in normal
Circumstances

Would you buy 4? Not at an ale fest!

Rating (out of 7): ****

Holts - Two Hoots 4.1%

Taste: smells like grass. Tastes like marzipan. If ale was to be made into a squash for kids, it would taste like this!

Appearance: um satisfactory gold

Would you buy 2? Maybe.... Nooo

Would you buy 4? *shakes head

Rating (out of 7): *** bit bland

Wolf Brewery - Wolf In Sheep's Clothing 3.7%

Taste: burnt hops. Mellow! Like caressing mahogany.

Appearance: mahogany

Would you buy 2? Yeah, in a heartbeat

Would you buy 4? With a roast, yes

Rating (out of 7): ***** food for thought

Otley Brewing Company - O3 BOSS 4.4%

Taste: grapefruit / silage. A suprisingly good mix

Appearance: brown leather

Would you buy 2? In an unusual mood, yes

Would you buy 4? Not impossible. But not likely

Rating (out of 7): **** a good 4

Mile Stone - Shine On 4%

Taste: smells like scotch egg. But I'm hungry so I'm cool with that. Tastes great. Sharp.

Appearance: harvest moon

Would you buy 2? If I was hungry

Would you buy 4? Not today

Rating (out of 7): **** eggy

Location:Stonell's Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Howard Town - Longendale Light 3.9%

Taste:likened to a bumble bee's flight. Delicious!

Appearance: a shade darker than iron bru

Would you buy 2? Possibly but I fancy trying another

Would you buy 4? Never!!!

Rating (out of 7): **** likeable

Location:Chatham Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Blindman's Brewery - Beer Goggles 3.8%

Taste: goes well with free crayfish. Bit horsey.

Appearance: like a tungsten lit brick wall

Would you buy 2? Yea. But not for myself.

Would you buy 4? No

Rating (out of 7): **** just

Location:Chatham Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Copper Dragon Brewery - Freddie Trueman 4%

Taste: goes well with goats cheese. Sweet after taste. Then a bready finish

Appearance: copper as the name

Would you buy 2? Yeah. But not today!

Would you buy 4? On a summers morn

Rating (out of 7): 5***** a taste I'd come back for. Maybe even drive 20 miles for.

Location:Chatham Rd,Wandsworth,United Kingdom

Hook norton brewery - hooky gold 4.2%

Taste: it has that unmistakeable 9 volt aftertaste. Tastes stronger than it is. Am I being decieved?

Appearance: flat yellow. The mind plays tricks.

Would you buy 2? I'd drink two... Drink...

Would you buy 4? No, for fear of being messed up the next day by overdosing on battery

Rating (out of 7): **** interesting

Natural Brewing Co. - Premium Ale 4.3%

Taste: very flaoursome. A good yeasty vibe.

Appearance: copper dream

Would you buy 2? Definatly

Would you buy 4? I think I would.

Rating (out of 7): ***** perfect for breaking an ale drought

Badger - Dandelion Organic 4.5%

Taste: tastes like sweet hay. Like munching on a field of sugargrass. Pretty plesant for an equine.

Appearance: gold bullion

Would you buy 2? Barring any unforseen circumstance, yes!

Would you buy 4? It's such an easy ride, it'd be quite plesant to let 4 of these slip down.

Rating (out of 7): *****

BrewDog - Punk IPA 6%

Taste: a smooth ride with a dry after taste. Tastes awesome with curry. Nice and strong too.

Appearance: like a ride on the yellow train. Don't let that put you off.

Would you buy 2? Uh huh! Wish I did too.

Would you buy 4? Yeah! But that would be my limit.

Rating (out of 7): 6******

Location:Sw4 London

Adnams - Dry Irish Stout 4.3%

Taste: blood! But like a vampire, it's doing me a world of good!

Appearance: bovril

Would you buy 2? If it was Sunday. Buy I am just about to go and see a rock and roll concert!

Would you buy 4? Not really. Too tangy.

Rating (out of 7): ***

Location:Ossington St,Kensington,United Kingdom