Black Sheep Brewery - Golden Sheep 4.7% (Draught)

Taste: flat panda pop cola. Tepid of dubious moral standing. It screams "lazy". Its not all bad though... Just a bit dull.

Appearance: dirty yellow.

Would you buy 2? Not today. Probably never!


Would you buy 4? Sorry. It's just not that fun.

Rating (out of 7): 3***

ps. This actually got more delicious after I had some food...

Location:London,United Kingdom

Redemption Brewing Co. - Redemption Pale Ale 3.8%

Taste: Hoppy and bitter. Leaves a tingly sensation in the mouth. bread pudding and mixed in hop flowers. Pretty nice!

Appearance: Amber, pretty nice!

Would you buy 2? Yes. Ordinarily . But there are many ales to try.

Would you buy 4? Might be pushing it on the interest front. Buy perhaps in the blistering sun.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** great with a pickled egg!

Location:Eagle ale house, Clapham

Hepworth & Co - Prospect 4.5%

Taste: perfect! The taste doesn't outstay it's welcome. And what a welcome! It's hoppy, just really nice! Like licking gold bullion! Perfect for the mediterranean zone at Kew! Tastes totally clean and pure. Like ale water in a great way! I don't mind putting this into my body. It feels like it belongs in there!

Appearance: nice, heartwarming quote on the label. No sleazy artwork. Beer is pleasing too!

Would you buy 2? Er, yes it's wild!

Would you buy 4? Yes! Who's gonna stop me!?

Rating (out of 7): 6****** totally radical!

Location:Kew Gardens

Oakleaf Brewery - Hole Hearted 4.7%

Taste: A whiff of pine as I dive in... It's a hop bomb! My god, that's nice. The fact that it's my first beer after work on a Friday may help. Quite flowery, but bitter... Like eating the stem, not the petals. You can really taste the Stamen in the aftertaste. Yummers!


Appearance: Initially worried that this ale is named after a pretty serious medical condition. There's something odd about the label. What a strange name! I was expecting to see "5p of the sale of this ale goes to help children at Great Ormand St."; Sadly not. On another note. The beer looks great. Crystal Clear, A pleasant surprise.


Would you buy 2? "It's Britney Bitch, I see you, And i just wanna dance with you. Every time they turn the lights down, Just wanna go that extra mile for you, You got my display of affection
Feels like no one else in the room, Gimme Gimme more, Gimme more, Gimme gimme more [x4]"

Would you buy 4? I think the Britney Spears lyrics from the previous answer speak volumes...


Rating (out of 7): 6****** I've turned the lights off. I want to be alone with this ale.

Cheddar Ales - Goat's Leap IPA 5.7%

Taste: Once you break through the dishwater suds, you are confronted by a dinner of an ale. Like scooping handfuls of grain into your open mouth in the dark. Banana bread overtones. It smells terrible, but you don't have to drink it with your nose. It's much tastier than a lot of IPAs of this strength.


Appearance: Mega-Foamy dance party, with 70's orange leggings.


Would you buy 2? Yes sir'ee. I'd buy one more to keep the peace.  


Would you buy 4? I'd buy them for a friend, I'd feel a headache coming on at this strength.


Rating (out of 7): 5***** In another world this would be a 6....

The Kernel Brewery - Big Brick Collaboration - Red Rye Ale 8.9%

Taste: This is strong at almost 9%. So to celebrate, I've got Die Hard on Blu-Ray, hoping that John McClane's heroic/idiotic antics will complement the flavours here. It's smells like dark chocolate somehow, with a homebrew twang. Taste is deep with Iron or Blood overtones. In a pleasant way. Fizzier than expected, it gives me a nettley sting. Also lighter than most beers of this strength. I like it!

Appearance: Coca-Cola

Would you buy 2? Yes! I could take two down!

Would you buy 4? I wish, but it would break the bank and the liver.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** lost out on a six by not being quite as delicious as other Kernel Beers. As I write this I'm changing my mind though, I'd better sign off.

Location:Battersea Power Station

Downton Brewey - Apple Blossom Ale 4.2%

Taste: Blossomy. Quite like smelling the skin of an apple. Sweet and appley. Like someone drunkenly sloshed a drop of cider into your pint. It's quite amazing tasting!

Appearance: yellow, like stained pine or the sun.

Would you buy 2? I have and would again.

Would you buy 4? Yes please. But it's Tuesday night! Or is it Monday!?

Rating (out of 7): 6****** well done downton. Your liquid makes me very happy.

Location:The cat's back - putney

Duchy Originals - Select Ale 6.2%

Taste: A nostalgic whiff of homebrew. It's a taste is alcoholic-sweet, wet slate and multigrain loaf. I'm tearing bits off to dunk into my baked camembert, metaphorically speaking. It's a great ale to smooth off those edges to get your brain malleable enough to learn about String Theory.

Appearance: a pleasurable chestnut brown. This ale is confusing. It's really brewed by wychwood, but the name is squirreled away on the back label... Ashamed? Deceipt?!? Then again, profits from the sale of this ale go to the princes trust! This is more confusing than string theory.

Would you buy 2? Yes, I think I would!

Would you buy 4? That's what this ale wants you to do! The floozy!!! 6.2% I'm drunk after half of one!

Rating (out of 7): 5***** deceitful, flirty, caring, giving, dangerous. A cavalier ale!

Location:The Chase,Lambeth,United Kingdom

Joseph Holt - Maplemoon 4.8 %

Taste: It's heavy like the orb in the sky! A thick sugar hit straight to the chops.

Appearance: Yellow like .....

Would you buy 2? Never. I simply won't!

Would you buy 4? Boy! Yo' making me mad!

Rating (out of 7): 3 ***

6/3/2011 18:34:32 Ben & Darren

Titanic - Hot Cross Ale 4.5%

Taste: Remember the blue cans of Bass Shandy that was about 0.5%? Spicy shandy with added sultanas and bonus fizz. Is that an aftertaste of vegetative matter - a horse radish leaf? What is going on? This ale is made for a well known supermarket and ale law states this should be bad news.... but I'm liking this weird mix. A guilty pleasure!

Appearance: Brown like a good dominos pitch. Foam that is light brown like a pancake batter. A label that is so bad that I'm enjoying it. 

Would you buy 2? My calibration may be hay wire, but yes, yes I would.

Would you buy 4? I'm certain I would, and then I would instantly regret it.

Rating (out of 7): 5 *****

Review by The Sugar Man, Cardiff. 5/10/2011 20:02:31

Shepherd Neame - Whitstable Bay 4.5%

Taste: banana skins and sparkling mineral water. Mashed banana sandwich? ... On White bread.

Appearance: orange eyes

Would you buy 2? Not knowing what I know now

Would you buy 4? Um, that would be a mistake.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** interesting. But not in the best way

Untapped Brewing Co. - Eclipse 4.4%

Taste: Oh God, human sacrifice! Actually wait.... vinegar... pencils... stubbed out benson and hedges floating in acidified sour red wine. Burns the mouth like I imagine diluted battery acid may do. The word brackish springs to mind. It's either terrible or genius.

Appearance: Dregs

Would you buy 2? The shop claimed to have 70 ale varieties. I will happily try all other 69 before revisiting this and even then...

Would you buy 4? What's this to do with an eclipse? No.

Rating (out of 7): * *

Bare Naked Beer Brewery - Bavarian Wheat 5.3%

Taste: Bananas! Foamy banana sweets! This is not strictly an ale I guess, but ..... so delicious! Refreshing and light, with a slight floating hint of a smoking ham! A cigar chuffing pig with sunshine rays eminating from it's caramel covered trotters.

Appearance: Comes in an unmarked bottle wrapped in brown paper - elegant tramp! Milky caramel in colour.

Would you buy 2? Oh yes.

Would you buy 4? I want it to happen.

Rating (out of 7): Ale purists look away... this is a 6. * * * * * *