Nelson Brewery - Black Jack 5.4%

Taste: Mmmmm lovely. Splashy. Ginger and garlic? Maybe not... Maybe we've been judgemental. He might be the saviour of roots American music. He's the saviour of US folk. What what would Neil young do? .... What would Neil young do.... It's too complex for our comprehension after that 10%er.

Appearance: Dark. Wet.

Would you buy 2? Aye. Aye. Aye.

Would you buy 4? Not today.

Rating (out of 7): A pudding-faced four or five..... 4**** (We apologise for this review. Last one of the day at Wandsworth Beer Festival. We can't even remember writing it).

Location:John Archer Way,London,United Kingdom

Burton Bridge Brewery - Thomas Sykes Ale 10%

Taste: The strongest beer at the festival.... It's go time!.... Sherry and mustard smell apparitions. This is worrying stuff. Especially at 5pm. Woah, fermenting earth worms... Argh! Alcoholic plough juice. Just a feeling of being in the earth. Ethanol and earth. Fermented Labrador. It's all a bit wicker man... Farmyard soil and opal fruits.

Appearance: Iron Bru. Red Panda.

Would you buy 2? We have.

Would you buy 4? If you're facing tough times in your life, you might need to.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** perfect ale for stomping blues!! Incredible!

Location:John Archer Way,London,United Kingdom

Little Valley Brewery - Moor Ale 5.5%

Taste: Smokey bacon crisps. Smoked fish. The edge of burnt broccoli. Burnt workbook.

Appearance: Flounder.

Would you buy 2? We did,

Would you buy 4? No?

Rating (out of 7): 4**** if you're hearing banjo music.

Location:John Archer Way,London,United Kingdom

Elgoods Brewery - Greyhound Strong Bitter 5.2%

Taste: Tastes a bit like coconut creme. Not as strong tasting as I imagined. Deceitful? Homebrew. We were mislead by the man from uncle.

Appearance: Tawny. Ergh. Owl.

Would you buy 2? Accidentally.

Would you buy 4? I won't be tricked again!

Rating (out of 7): 4**** it's got a five starer hanging out in the darkness.... Somewhere...

Location:John Archer Way,,United Kingdom

Downton Brewery - Mad March Hare 4.4%

Taste: Uh oh, this has that familiar toilet smell. Worrying. Let's take a sip... Interesting, But not necessarily obviously pleasant. It pangs of munching directly at the root of a plant. Then feasting on the stamen. A delicious treat.

Appearance: Honey Badger.

Would you buy 2? We have.

Would you buy 4? No. (shakes head)

Rating (out of 7): 5***** but I don't know why?

Location:Stott Close,,United Kingdom

Sarah Hughes Brewery - Dark Ruby Mild 6%

Taste: Sweet! Dishcloth scent. Rich sherry wonderment. Brandy butter dreams. Strong voyage.

Appearance: Ruby Mallard's Flanks.

Would you buy 2? Have done.

Would you buy 4? To amaze and bewilder.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** no-tail's delight.

Location:Fitzhugh Grove,London,United Kingdom

RCH - Pitchfork 4.3%

Taste: Gravity defying. It travels up the roof and down the back. Dandelion roots. This ale makes no sense, but we feel cleaner.

Appearance: based on an old battle. No problem.

Would you buy 2? Yes.

Would you buy 4? Doubtful.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** interesting stuff!

Location:John Archer Way,,United Kingdom

Nelson Brewery - Midshipman Mild 4%

Taste: A far cry ales of yore. Wet slate and ferns. Are we in north Wales? Surprisingly refreshing. I've got my dexterity back! Thanks, ale!!

Appearance: horse.

Would you buy 2? We have.

Would you buy 4? Now is not the time.

Rating (out of 7): 5*****

Location:John Archer Way,London,United Kingdom

Skinner's - Spiggan Ale 3.8%

Taste: Eggy, gloriously sulphurous, lovely wet dog. Ultra saturation. A deliciously refreshing pint that makes me yearn for long days at the Waterfront in Falmouth.

Appearance: Wet dogs' eyes.

Would you buy 2? Yes.

Would you buy 4? Maybe

Rating (out of 7): 5***** it's all good.

Location:John Archer Way,,United Kingdom

Bath Ales - Spa 3.6%

Taste: mmmmm pleasant! Good start. It's made our descriptive powers disappear. Tastes great. Why am I tasting rum. A watery refreshing feeling. Perfect for after sporting. Like dominoes.

Appearance: yellow woofer

Would you buy 2? Yes. We have.

Would you buy 4? In the right temperature.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** we just like it!

Location:John Archer Way,London,United Kingdom

William Bros - Seven Giraffes (5.1%)

Taste: Mellow, with a mild citrus fruit party going on, joined with a whiff of Mr Muscle polish (in a good way if you can imagine that). Bit of a rubber aftertaste and a burny fizz. Very drinkable. Very drinkable indeed.

Appearance: Liquid £1 coins.

Would you buy 2? To quench a first on a hot day.

Would you buy 4? To quench a first on a very hot day.

Rating (out of 7): 5 * * * * * (Easy to drink, but in no way bland. Good stuff)

Robinson's - Build a rocket boys! 4%

Taste: Nice and light. Crumbled up hob nobs. Old Man's beard. Walking stick handle. In a good way. Pretty nice with a roast.

Appearance: A beer based on / brewed by a popular rock band? Why not! Good to see pop stars finally getting involved in the cause. Ale is a pleasing orange.

Would you buy 2? I will.

Would you buy 4? maybe, it's the only thing on.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** good name!

Location:Pembridge Rd,London,United Kingdom

Hog's Back Brewery - Brooklands Gold Star 4.6%

Taste: Along the same line as the Gardener's Tipple one. But nice. A lot smoother, less aggressive. Malty, but balanced. It's helped.

Appearance: Normal brown. Isn't this why we take the photo?

Would you buy 2? I have. Was it a good move? It was okay.

Would you buy 4? Maybe. If I was drunk.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** getting better.

Hog's Back Brewery - Gardener's Tipple 4%

Taste: oh, malty. So very malty. It's on the side of homebrew. Entirely drinkable though. Coke zero. It's very aggressive. Maximum ale kiss of 1 second. Lingering old man froth.

Appearance: garden based ale. Sounds great on paper. Chestnut ale.

Would you buy 2? I bought two bottles.

Would you buy 4? I can't imagine buying four.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** I can't even get it into my mouth because it's so stingy.

George Gale & Co. - Seafarer's Ale 3.6%

Taste: Really pleasurable summer ale. Have I had this before, not sure. But it's lightness if helping no end. Smooth bitter love. Wheat field tongue, cut grass nose.

Would you buy 2? I have.

Would you buy 4? I think I would. If I didn't have to escape the nutters on the table along.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** great stuff. Nothing offensive in this glass.

Location:Ferry Rd,Richmond,United Kingdom

William Bros - Grozet (5%)

Taste: Gooseberries! Limes! This is a zesty ale. Feels a little creamy as well. It startles you on first gulp and then you settle in and it slips down like an oblong down a slide. It's thought provoking yet comfortable. Bit hammy, bit yeasty, and kind of chalky as well. Interesting - and I am liking this kind of interesting.

Appearance: The yellow is a little alarming but then it appears it's a caramel yellow which is exactly the same as a wooden folk harp.

Would you buy 2? Yes.

Would you buy 4? 4 would be refreshing and rewarding.

Rating (out of 7): 6 * * * * * * Gooseberry in ale form. Good stuff.

William Bros - Kelpie Seaweed Ale (4.4%)

Taste: My first taste hit me with 6 stars. Complex - there's a metal vibe and liquorice. It's smokey but also there's summer fruits buried deep within the mix. Malted biscuits and a floaty marshmallow taste has just come from nowhere. What a ride!

Appearance: I like seaweed, the Algal Emperors of the Oceans. The ale is a dark maroon - it's good to behold.

Would you buy 2? Oh yes.

Would you buy 4? I feel an urge to read some scottish folk tales. It may be a wintry wet ale, but give me 4 all the same.

Rating (out of 7): 6 * * * * * * (My first 6 stars in an age... worth the wait!)

Titanic Brewery - Last Porter Call 4.9%

Taste: This is more like it. Or is it. I can't recall tastes. I'm enjoying it, but my mind's elsewhere. Dark, it doesn't feel too strong. It has no discernible edges, perhaps making it good for removing edges after a hard day's rendering on After Effects. (?)

Appearance: A brewery based on the death of 1517 people. It can be overlooked. This is the first Titanic beer I've had on draft and I like it.


Would you buy 2? I might. If not for the choice.

Would you buy 4? Doubtful. But she'll always have a place in my stomach.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Tasty!

Visit the Titanic Brewery Website

Triple FFF Brewery - Comfortably Numb 5%

Taste: This is not sweetly strong, it is earthy as can be. In fact the word being thrown around is 'Bark'. Tree bark, and warm water. Not without pleasure.

Appearance: Dense. Opaque. Pink Floyd based.

Would you buy 2? Not today. The choice is too great.

Would you buy 4? Unlikely.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** An odd ale. But we finished it.

Franklin's Brewery Co. - Dry Hop 3.6%

Taste: delicious! It washes off the stench of boule defeat. So summery. Hoppy, but in a smooth buttery way. Not 9volt.

Appearance: Light Deliciousness. Modern Label.

Would you buy 2? We have.

Would you buy 4? I wish. But there are another 7 work-ales here.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** weak but tasty. Awesome.

Visit Franklin's Brewery Here

Meantime - India Pale Ale 7.4%

Taste: Disaster! Mike spilt stout all over the carpet and then used 'stain slayer' so now the whole lounge smells of lemon peel. It's hard to taste anything anymore. We'll carry on regardless. Sorry, Meantime... It's very wheaty, almost Belgium in style. Wild tasting. Hoppy too. This is good. Now, if only our curry would turn up!

Appearance: giant champagne style bottle is most welcome! Strong too.

Would you buy 2? We have. £10. I don't regret it.

Would you buy 4? Come on. No one has that kind of money.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** a really nice, strong gulp.

Harviestoun - Bitter & Twisted 4.2%

Taste: What I'm not getting is the spice.... Oh wait a minute, it comes from within. I got it. It's very tasty. Too many many black currents for our collective tastes.

Appearance: no. Not mouse-based. Mice imply thieving. Nice looking light yellow.

Would you buy 2? We have. GREAT!

Would you buy 4? Maybe, even though it's too berry flavoured.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** I don't like the label.

Meantime - London Stout 4.5%

Taste: a rich sweet stout. Caramel notes.

Appearance: black as night. No head. (apart from in this photo)

Would you buy 2? yup, it's a classic stout. A bit light for my tastes, but certainly fills my flavour palette.

Would you buy 4? Nah I'd move on.

Rating (out of 7): 4 Give it a whirl on your stouty journey through life.

Location:Wimbledon

Thornbridge - Wild Swan 3.5%

Taste: this is complex!!! So many flavours! It starts hoppy. Very hoppy. Then someone shoves a lemon in your mouth, removes it then replaces it with a lovely beer.
We noted a four second ale kiss.

Appearance: label looks like a shiny from a panini sticker album. So pale. It's interesting. Columns of fizzy bubbles rise.

Would you buy 2? we have bought two. I would again.

Would you buy 4? Yes. Imagine the pleasure in a summer beer garden / home BBQ.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** total pleasure.

Cooper's Brewery - Sparkling Ale 5.8%

Taste: Holy-what is that? Champagne ale? Alepagn? Champale? It's very fizzy. Tasty though. Oranges?

Appearance: target label. Yellow ale.

Would you buy 2? We have. But before tasting.

Would you buy 4? Maybe not. Unless I craved champale.

Rating (out of 7): 4****

Joseph Holt - Humdinger 4.1%

Taste: Almost sickly sweet. Like honeysuckle. Sticky apricot sap. Soda water fizz on your tongue.

Appearance: There were a lot of big bubbles. Even more apricots.

Would you buy 2? Maybe, I like it but it's very sweet.

Would you buy 4? Sugar overload.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** Too sweet, but it might be perfect for a sunny picnic, rather than a fireside ale.

Goose Island - Honker's Ale 4.3%

Taste: That's tasty! It almost tastes a little too nice. Seems like the US of A have got bottled beers down! It takes me back to my 3 hours in O'hare airport. A magical time. It seems perfectly balanced. Nice slightly chilled.

Appearance: Not only is it a goose-based ale, they've also referred to Geese as Honkers!! Great stuff. Beer looks nice and brown. Tan?

Would you buy 2? I had to buy six, as is the way with the American six pack boxes.

Would you buy 4? I bought six!!!

Rating (out of 7): No regrets.... 5*****

Cromarty - Brewed Awakening 4.7%

Taste: Strong coffee! Like original Amazonian coffee or cocoa. Perfect before a ceremonial dance around the fire. Very drinkable, very nice, don't you think... yes.

Appearance: A starry night with volcano embers in the background. A pair of rubies sit at the bottom of the pint.

Would you buy 2? Surprisingly for a stout, yes I would. If I could handle it, I'd enjoy it.

Would you buy 4? Unlikely to make it that far. The rubies would be too heavy. I don't have a goose to smuggle those rubies in.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Fancy an ale, and a coffee? This should be your choice.

Manchester Marble Brewery - DRAFT 3.9%

Taste: Sometimes the plainest label and most boring name hides a delicious beer. Amazing fruity aroma, followed by sharp bitter sense housings.

Appearance: Freshly squeezed dates, mixed with honey. Terrible boring label.

Would you buy 2? Yes, for the full sensory effect I would buy two. It's a strong effect.

Would you buy 4? Sensory overload. It would wreak havoc with my taste buds.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** Sweet and sour (but nice)

Castle Rock - Preservation Fine Ale 4.4%

Taste: It tastes of stout, even though it doesn't look like one, and isn't one. More like Guiness than Guiness.

Appearance: A bit tarnished, like water dripping off dirty horse leathers.

Would you buy 2? For the novelty.

Would you buy 4? Too much stout.

Rating (out of 7): 4**** A stout surprise in ale packaging.

Young's - London Porter 4.4%

Taste: Metallic pleasure. A bit like coke has made and ale. Everything that hits my mouth is awesome. Nice stuff.

Appearance: black. Dark.

Would you buy 2? I might. Next.

Would you buy 4? Not tonight.

Rating (out of 7): 4****

Location:Garratt Ln,London,United Kingdom

Windsor & Eton Brewery - Knight of the Garter Golden Ale 3.8%

Taste: This has a nice clean smelling Hoppy nose. I'm excited. Phew! It's nice! Wow, it's really good. My first gulp was huge, like a big thirsty bear. It's light and citrusy, but with some subtle biscuit flavours in there too.

Appearance: It poured with a perfect head. It looks inviting. Lightly carbonated. Very clear amber liquid.

Would you buy 2? Uh oh, this has gone down too fast. I'd like the chance to buy one. I'd also buy two.

Would you buy 4? I'd also buy four.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** This could be a great go-to thirst-quenching, mind-relaxing, golden ale.

Visit the Windsor and Eton Brewery Website

Location:Clapham Common, Sw4

Brains - Black (4.1%)

Taste: Processed slices of smoked ham and it's malty for sure. Leathery - reminds me of the taste you get when you passed the tannery in Downton, Wiltshire. This has been chilled way too much for my liking.

Appearance: Very very very dark red. Quite pleasing to the eye.

Would you buy 2? In a Brains pub, with limited options? Might be a good choice.

Would you buy 4? Time to move pubs.

Rating (out of 7): 4 * * * * It's fine, but there's always better out there.

Mansfield - Cask Ale (3.9%)

Taste: Toffee apples and bonfires. Definite caramelised sugar and apple flavour - reminiscent of a slightly burnt apple crumble. The metallic blood taste (iron) is also hanging around in there.

Appearance: A foxes tail.

Would you buy 2? Yes, it's happened already.

Would you buy 4? I could have 4.

Rating (out of 7): 5 * * * * * A match for many an ale.

Single Hop - East Kent Golding (4%)

Taste: Definite vibe of Icelandic sulphur pools. After some thought the main taste has been pinpointed as old, out of date honey. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it might not be a crowd pleaser.

Appearance: Precious amber

Would you buy 2? I did, one for me, one for you.

Would you buy 4? Time to move on. There's strongcompetition in Chapter Arts Centre.

Rating (out of 7): 3 * * *

Evan Evans - St Davids (4.3%)

Taste: Full, rich and solid. Lemon hints and a touch eggy. Wet cardboard? There's definitely a taste that can only be described as green fruit gums.

Appearance: lemon brown mix

Would you buy 2? I have.

Would you buy 4? We stopped at 3.

Rating (out of 7): 4 * * * * . Goes well with a bit of singing.

Twickenham Fine Ales - Naked Ladies 4.4%

Taste: Perfect citrus ale blast. Lightly chilled, taking the edges off of life. Bitter loveliness.

Appearance: Trophy-shop brown.

Would you buy 2? Ben's son kicked over his first. So 3 have been bought.

Would you buy 4? Yes please.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** I could drink it indefinitely.

Location:Woodhayes Rd,,United Kingdom

Hog's Back Brewery - H.B.B 3.7%

Taste: Aahhhh so nice! My word!! Perfect bitter. It's really showing up my roast.

Appearance: orange brown. Nice.

Would you buy 2? Yes.

Would you buy 4? I can't imagine someone who couldn't drink five.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** easy drinking good times.

Location:Woodhayes Rd,,United Kingdom

Otter Brewery - Otter Bitter 3.6%

Taste: Smooth cask deliciousness. Perfect Sunday gulp. It's so flat. Stillness. Kinda creamy and buttery.

Appearance: orange glass.

Would you buy 2? Why not!?

Would you buy 4? I could easily.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** smooth friendly pint.

Location:Woodhayes Rd,,United Kingdom

Shepherd Neame - Gentleman Jack 5%

Taste: Standard bottled brown ale. Slightly fizzy. A bit watery, but it does have a redeemable taste. Slightly hopped with a malty caramel sweetness. That makes it sound tastier than it is though.

Appearance: lighter than nut brown. Asda-pushed.

Would you buy 2? I don't think so. I've seen too much.

Would you buy 4? Not when you know what I know.

Rating (out of 7): 3*** fine. But it's unlikely to rock your world.

Innis & Gunn - Rum Finish 7.4%

Taste: Oh, that's really nice. Boozy and sweet. You can really taste rum. No deceit here! The Oak woodiness is pleasant too. Ahhh that really takes the edge off of things...

Appearance: Almost Mauve. Funky black and gold bottle. I can't remember buying this. Ale Autopilot.

Would you buy 2? Yup! A fine addition to your collection, I'd say.

Would you buy 4? I don't see why not. It's an interesting beer.

Rating (out of 7): 6****** Without a hint of unpleasantness.

Visit Innis & Gunn Website

Shepherd Neame - Whitechapel Porter 5.2%

Taste: Some chlorination on the nose. At least it smells clean. Like swimming pools. It's not tasting strong... A little deceitful. Anaesthetises the mouth like an aniseed ball. it's not all I hoped for.

Appearance: Honked by Walmart. Could be mistaken for Coca-Cola.

Would you buy 2? Not in this life. Oh man, I think I taste egg whites!?!

Would you buy 4? No thank you. I'm worried, I have another Asda based ale from Shepherd Neame to try....

Rating (out of 7): 2** Not so hot.

Black Sheep Brewery - Celebration Ale 6%

Taste: I'm expecting to taste the difference here... Sainsbury's have sold this to me, it sounds right up my street; with port and raisins mentioned.... Let's see. First sip is a woozy journey through about 10 tastes. I had a flashback to eating a lot of christmas cake and gorging on marzipan. The port and fruitiness is there, but it's been locked in the basement. This is halfway to tasting like a fine cigar and would probably be a fine pairing.

Appearance: Guinness and Port. Sainsbury bottle shifting units for black sheep.

Would you buy 2? I actually would. Not bad.

Would you buy 4? I don't know about four. Some of my friends don't like liquorice and probably wouldn't get such a big bang out of this.

Rating (out of 7): 5***** A generous score for some nice work. Huzzah!

Visit Black Sheep Brewery Website